elated

I am so happy today. I have a brand new nibling! I got the news early this morning that my nephew has arrived. A bit earlier than planned, but he and my sister are both doing well. I laughed, I wept, and I danced a happy dance. (Lots of happy dancing, not much weeping.) And all this before 8:00 a.m.

a shallow cut

Last night I called my sister and mother in California. I asked if they’d heard about Hillary Clinton announcing her candidacy. I was a bit giddy yesterday from such historic news. It turns out they hadn’t heard, having been occupied all day with my sister’s baby shower. I talked to my sister first, and among other things we talked about, I told her I was excited that my blog entry about my reactions to the candidacy announcement got quoted. When my mother got on the phone, I again brought up the announcement. And she commented that it was funny to be hearing the news from me, because (and I’m paraphrasing) I don’t pay much attention to political issues.

Huh?

I talk about politics. I think about social issues. I get outraged by injustices. I’ve volunteered, I’ve donated, I’ve protested. Not as much as so many others, maybe. But I feel like, at heart, I am deeply political. Maybe I haven’t talked about these things much with her, at least lately. Maybe I’ve been pretty self-absorbed. My mother’s comment stung, even though she back-pedaled. Even though I know she didn’t mean to suggest I was shallow. I felt deflated, and didn’t even tell her about my excitement in being quoted. Especially since the article that quoted me more-or-less said “even women who usually write about trivial crap felt inspired to write about this news:”

Because while BlogHer’s list of Politics & News blogs by women is 379 strong, in this case I found sudden and serious grassroots engagement everywhere, from mommyblogs to myspace diaries.

It’s true that I don’t tend to write much about political or social issues. I started my blog to write largely for fun. And I realize that, indeed, my topics are largely shallow. I write mostly about stuff. Movies. TV. Funny words. Pants. I’ve had the most fun writing parodies of etiquette and advice columns.

Anyhow, I’m still planning to keep writing about topics that I enjoy writing about. Shallow though some may seem. And some of the topics I write about may have some social relevance. It’s all part of the package that is me.

post postscript: I should add that my mother is an extremely supportive woman, a close friend as well as a much-loved relation, and that the innocuous comment she made was merely the catalyst for my own fit of self-critical introspection. Why are we doomed to hurt the people we love most?

anniversary present, anniversaries past

Today is John’s and my 7th wedding anniversary. A couple of months ago, on October 24th, we celebrated our second wedding anniversary. Let me explain. John and I have been married twice. To each other.

John and I started dating (or whatever you want to call it) on New Year’s of 1992. We got engaged on December 31st (New Year’s Eve) of 1993. Then for several years, we talked about planning the wedding, but each time we started the plans, there was some sort of obstacle. Work schedules were hectic. Money was tight. Crucial family members were planning to be away on long trips. We once got as far as picking a date, only to find that John’s niece had just announced her own wedding the same weekend across the country. We didn’t want to compete for family members to attend, so we opted not to schedule for that date. For several years, when someone would ask when we were ever going to get married, we’d say, more or less jokingly, “some time before the year 2000.” We weren’t really in a hurry to get married.

At the end of 1999, I was planning to quit my job soon to have a bit of time off before starting grad school. Which meant, among other things, I’d be losing my health insurance benefits. We’d talked about maybe having a civil ceremony, in part so that I could get on John’s health insurance plan, and then later schedule the party wedding where we’d be able to include family and friends. But we hadn’t acted on this plan. Then the last week of December, we decided to make good on our threat to get married before the year 2000. We thought we’d wait till the last possible day to squeak in our wedding before 2000. (Which also coincided with the anniversary of our engagement.) We found a Justice of the Peace in a nearby town who was available to marry us in her home on December 31st. We applied for our marriage license in our Town Hall, and duly went for our blood tests. And so the morning of December 31, 1999, John and I were married. The only ones there were John, myself, and the Justice of the Peace. In her living room. No other witnesses. (Massachusetts doesn’t require them.)

We told close family members, but the plan was to schedule the more ceremonial wedding before we made a wide announcement. We expected to do this within the year. But. Time passed. As it is wont to do. In fact, several years passed. And we more or less casually told people about our marriage along the way. People pretty much no longer expected us to have the “big” wedding. But I was determined. I wanted my party. A ceremony. Food. Music. And I wanted to have our loved ones with us to share in our celebration.

So, on October 24th, 2004, John and I got married again. This time with our friends and family with us.

This past October 24th was, therefore, our second wedding anniversary. It was both the anniversary of our second wedding, and the second anniversary of that wedding. (A nice little example of syntactic ambiguity where both parses apply…)

second wedding anniversary tree

ready to go back home

We’re down at my in-laws for a few days. We came down Tuesday night. It’s Thursday night now. And somehow I keep feeling like we’ve been down here a week or more.

It’s not so terrible to be here. It’s just that I have even less time to myself than I’ve lately had at home. Phoebe wakes up earlier, won’t nap well and then stays up later. And then I feel the need to socialize with my mother-in-law (and do things like eat dinner) once Phoebe’s gone to bed. John is occupied with other things. This all leaves me almost nil time to do things like work on this damn blog. (And here I thought maybe I could even try reading a book while I was down here…but let’s face it. If it’s not a board book, I’m probably not going to read it right now.)

I finally broke free to do a bit of writing and find that, even though I’d been on a writing roll and absolutely itching to get back to it, now that I have few minutes to spare, I haven’t been able to get a complete sentence out on the posts I’ve been planning to write. I’m back to the annoying habit of writing part of a sentence, rethinking what I wrote, and going back to reword and revise it before I ever get to the punctuation mark at the end. So here. We’re leaving that aside for now, and moving on to general ranting. Not much substance. Not much content. Not much of interest. But look at all the punctuation marks!

look whose stocking

Mostly, I just wanted to use that title. (It may be clear that I am a sucker for a pun.) But now that I’ve come up with the title, it makes me want to reflect a bit on Christmas stockings I have known.

My family was never a religious one, but Christmas traditions were always very important. The tree. The music. The nog. The food. And most importantly, the rituals of Christmas Day. The first of which was the opening of the stockings. (I think I’ll have to write about the actual rituals at some other point. Because I shouldn’t be writing at all right now. I should be excavating the dining room table, which has been buried since the earlier days of the local population boom.)

I mentioned once before that my family (that is my mother, my sister and I) moved to France for a year when I was 9 years old. I don’t think my mother knew exactly how long we’d be staying there when we first packed up our bags and flew the coop, but in any case we didn’t bring the Christmas stockings we’d used in past years with us. Not ready to convert to the French custom of leaving our shoes out for Père Noël to fill, we decided to make some American-style red and white Christmas stockings for our American-style Santa. We got some red felt for the stockings, and a smaller amount of white felt for the trim. Since neither my mother nor my grandmother were particulary adept at (or interested in) sewing, and we didn’t have a sewing machine, to boot, we each were to make our own stocking.

My sister, eleven years old at the time, designed and executed a beautifully proportioned stocking with elegant lines. She neatly assembled it with even stitches and an attractive smooth-edged, white cuff at the top made of two round-cornered rectangles; one on the front, one on the back, so that the stocking could be hung either way. She somehow had found that balance between functionality (a wide leg tapering gently to an ankle opening that was just narrow enough to please the eye without causing a bottleneck for stuffing) and cuteness (a perfectly-shaped sock foot). I think she even discreetly embroidered in her name and the year somewhere.

My grandmother had little patience for the task, and strove to make the least amount of effort possible to make a functional stocking so that she could get on to activities she found more interesting. We each used a long oblong of red felt, folded halfway down the length, and in hers she cut out mere suggestions from the rectangle to indicate the foot and ankle. She left the folded fabric intact at the bottom of the foot, so that she would have less to sew. Hers was the “flat foot” stocking. She left the sides largely straight, too. A simple rectangle of white at the top acted as the trim.

My mother made a somewhat abstracted version of a stocking, with curving swooping lines. It was more expressionist than practical, with an ankle that was a bit narrow for easy stuffing. It was not too carefully sewn, and it too had a small amount of fold left at the bottom of the foot for reduced stitching needs. It boasted a neat but fairly minimal white cuff at the top.

My own stocking was perhaps not a bad effort for a nine-year-old. However, I ran out of time, and didn’t manage to finish it in time for bedtime Christmas Eve. I don’t remember why it wasn’t done, but I can guess. I expect there was some waffling over the design, and too much time spent trying to get the stitches small and just right. I’m sure there was also some procrastination, and probably some distraction that pulled me away to other things. The end result was a fairly cute (if not elegant) stocking with rounded lines, a wide leg to fit lots of stuff, and a tiny foot that was probably the result of a mistake in cutting the felt. And at the top, because I ran out of time and hadn’t yet worked out my plans for the white felt, I quickly affixed (with a couple of loose stiches) a rectangle of paper towel to stand in for the trim.

The plan was to finish it later. But as you may be able to guess, I never actually finished it. Christmas Day came, and there was too much going on to be bothered with sewing. It ended up getting packed up as it was, paper towel trim and all. The next time we unpacked it for Christmas, I don’t remember what kept me from adding the white felt. But in the end, I became sentimental about my stocking as it was when I made it, and no longer wanted to finish it.

I don’t have that stocking any more. It got lost many years and many moves later. I remember my mother emerging from her struggles digging through boxes and trunks, some Christmastime down the road. She very cheerfully proclaimed: “I’ve found two stockings and a Santa hat!” Translation: two of the stockings have been lost. My mother can get extra cheerful when it’s time to share bad news.

The next Christmas, I got a new stocking. My not-yet-mother-in-law knit me a red, green and white striped stocking, complete with my name and the year I was born stitched on, as has been the tradition in my husband’s family. (I was very touched by her way of welcoming me to the family.) John has his stocking, knit by his aunt or grandmother many years ago. And now Phoebe has her own hand-knit stocking (made by John’s mother, of course) which we’ll be filling for the first time tonight.