Category: movies

5 5th things

Here’s a list of 5 things of the 5th persuasion. Want to know more than that? I take the fifth.

Five fifths

    5. Fifth Business, a novel by Canadian author Robertson Davies. Part of the Deptford Trilogy.

    5. The Fifth Dimension. An American band from the 60s known for songs such as “One Less Bell to Answer” and “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In”. (Also amathematical abstraction.)

    5. a fifth interval. A musical abstraction. A difference between two notes in (Western) music theory. A perfect fifth is 7 semitones.

    5. The Fifth Element. A movie by director Luc Besson.

    5. The Fifth Elephant. A book by Terry Pratchett.

(Note: I was going to submit this as part of the //engtech 5 things contest, but noticed that I missed the deadline. I have trouble with deadlines. But what the hell, I’ll post away anyhow. I like lists, I like things, and 5 is as good a number as any. And way better a number than 4.)

5 seriously funny death scenes

Death is serious business. No laughing matter. Except of course when there’s a funny death scene. Here are a few movie death moments that made me laugh.

5 seriously funny movie death scenes

  1. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
    O-ren Ishii (Lucy Liu) decapitates a dissenting individual at a business meeting, leading to a geyser of special effect blood, and proceeds to deliver a honey-voiced lecture to the other meeting participants about behavior guidelines.
  2. Mystery Men (1999)
    Boggled by toggles, a group of superheroes of somewhat dubious powers (played by Janeane Garofalo, Hank Azaria, Ben Stiller, William H. Macy and others) bungles a rescue attempt whereby they accidently kill off the more-or-less competent superhero that they had been attempting to rescue.
  3. The Princess Bride (1987)
    Death catches Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) in mid-laugh shortly after he finishes his triumphant speech about being right: “…never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h-“
  4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
    Paul Reubens (better known as Pee-wee Herman) performs the death scene to end all death scenes. That is, if the death scene will ever end…
  5. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
    The famous scene where Major T. J. “King” Kong (Slim Pickens) goes for a last wild ride atop a plummeting atomic bomb.

    6. slim-pickens_riding-the-bomb.jpg

This post is being submitted as part of the //engtech 5 Things contest.

more kick-ass women movies

I’m happy to share that YTSL from Webs of Significance has put together another list of her favorite kick-ass women movies, which ties in fabulously with my ongoing project to collect, catalog and critique movies and other media featuring kick-ass women. This latest list expands upon YTSL’s previous offering (which consisted of Hong Kong movies), and has movies from Korea, Japan, Thailand, and mainland China, in addition to a few more Hong Kong offerings. I hope you’ll check it out!

As for me, I’ve been a bit delinquent in my progress with the kick-ass women project, with almost a month having passed since my own last list. I still have plans to move into the next phase of the project, including more detailed discussions of what it means to be kick-ass. Perhaps this will give me the needed kick to my own hind quarters…

watching my language

another_banana.jpgIt’s a strange expression for me to use, “watching my language.” Especially since I am a linguist, and study language professionally. And actually spend time looking at visual representations of speech. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

(Warning: this post contains “language.” And by that, I mean l*ng*ag*. You know, %$*#! words. So if you are my mother-in-law, or someone else offended by such words, please read no further. Actually, if you are my mother-in-law, it’s not really me at all who’s writing this. I have no idea how this post got here. In fact, this whole blog must have been written by someone else who coincidentally has my name.)

I was reading a message board message a little while back, and came across a message where someone had written “cr*p”. Yes, c-r-*-p. And all I could think in response was “holy fucking shit, crap is a bad word??”

Crap is a word I use fairly often. As in Oh, crap, I forgot something. Or I have a lot of crap to deal with. I mean, I realize that it more-or-less means shit. But I thought it was way less of a swear-word. Stronger than doodoo, certainly, but really quite mild. I may even have said crap in front of my mother-in-law. And my mother-in-law feels quite strongly about swearing. As in it upsets her. She didn’t like the movie “Titanic” because someone uttered the word shit in it. (There are plenty of reasons not to like that movie, but quite honestly, shit wasn’t even on the radar for me.) And I really don’t want her to find out about this blog of mine, as I’m sure it would upset her. Mostly because of my language. I mean, hell, I write the word ass often enough.

And while, as my sister put it, I am unlikely to be considered the Kevin Smith of the blogosphere, I do want to reserve the right to swear on my blog. Sometimes I just feel the need. I’m not trying to offend (I spend my whole life trying not to offend), but I find it liberating to have this uncensored aspect of writing.

But then there’s this whole parenting business. I caught myself saying to Phoebe, “you are so damn cute!” (She is really damn cute, you know.) And I ask myself, is this appropriate child-directed speech?

Anyhow, at some point, like so many before us, we’re going to have to face this issue. It’s obvious that Phoebe now understands many words, and can even produce a few. And it’s only a matter of time before Phoebe starts demanding her damn lunch when she’s at daycare, exclaiming “crap, my blocks fell over,” or telling another small child to hand over the fucking dolly.

It’s not that we swear a whole lot. I mean, it’s not like every other word that comes out of our mouths would need to be bleeped on prime-time TV. But, well, swearing happens. Shit happens. And other terms. In our speech, and in the movies we watch, and the music we listen to. For example, I may want to reconsider singing along to “Don’t fuck me up (with peace and love)” by Cracker lest Phoebe picks up on the words…

One option we have considered is to go the Battlestar Galactica route. They have cleverly and subtly substituted frak for another term. As in Frak off, frak me, frak you, go frak yourself. No frakking way.

So, please excuse me. It’s time for me to prepare Phoebe’s frakking breakfast.

still mad as hell

We watched Shut Up and Sing (2006) a couple of nights ago. It’s the documentary about the Dixie Chicks, and their experiences following the “controversial” comment made by Natalie Maines.

Just in case you don’t know (or remember) the story, the incident in question was during a concert where the Dixie Chicks were preforming in London in 2003. At some point during the show, lead singer Natalie Maines made some comments about her objections to the impending war in Iraq, including a fairly offhand remark about the president:

Just so you know, we’re on the good side with y’all. We do not want this war, this violence, and we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas

Uproar ensued, fueled by right-wing activists, and involved the banning of Dixie Chicks’ music from radio stations, public denouncements and CD trashings, and even death threats. (Check out the Wikipedia article on the Dixie Chicks for details on the controversy. See also Alice from And She Wrote‘s recent post concerning free speech.)

Those were darker times, all too recently, when public expression of dissent was equated with treason. It was chilling to see how violently people reacted to a few fairly innocuous words. It was a time when many people, including me, were uncomfortable about speaking out in public about political issues, especially criticism of the president and objection to the war.

The band instantly earned my respect. I hadn’t known their music before, not being a fan of country music, and still wasn’t interested in hearing their songs. But soon after news of the comment and the backlash reached us, I remember going to a local record store and buying their CD, and a refrigerator magnet that said “he’s not my president.”

The movie “Shut Up and Sing” shows how these events affected the lives and careers of the three women of the band, and how they bravely stood up for free speech. I love it that their song “Not Ready to Make Nice,” from which the title of the movie is taken, expresses continued anger over the events:

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell…

They’re right to be angry. And we shouldn’t forget what happened. We shouldn’t allow freedom of expression to be trampled.

Anyhow, the movie paints an interesting picture of recent history. It’s well worth watching. Plus it has a really great trailer:

High school movies that are more fun than high school

I’m back from my midterm. Relatively unscathed. But I hate tests. Did I mention that? It’s not that I don’t do well on them, it’s just that they stress me out. And I’d recently thought I was done with them. I mean, I’m so over that sort of thing. Shouldn’t I be over that? Hello? Mid 30s. Have an advanced degree. Not to mention house, husband and now offspring. But studying for a test makes me feel like I’m back in high school. [Shudder.]

Thinking about high school made me think about high school movies. Some of which are way more fun to watch than going to high school. So, here’s a list. Think of it as a syllabus. And yes, there will be a test.

High school movies that are more fun than high school

  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
    The movie’s not quite as much fun as the show, but still fun nonetheless. Valley girls and vampires. Plus Paul Reubens (a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman) has this hilarious extended death scene that is such a treat.
  • Heathers (1989)
    Cliques. Cruelty. Croquet. A wonderfully dark comedy that reminds me that I’m oh-so-glad to be done with high school. Eskimo.
  • Clueless (1995)
    Based on Jane Austen’s Emma. This one’s actually quite sweet. And also has a cool soundtrack.
  • 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
    Based on Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew,” and features at least one fairly kick-ass teenage girl character.
  • Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)
    Dude. A totally righteous high school movie. With bodacious time travel.
  • Back to the Future (1985)
    The classic Michael J. Fox work. More time travelling, more high school.
  • Better Off Dead (1985)
    I love John Cusack. Especially his earlier works. And it has raisins in it. You like raisins.
  • Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
    This movie appealed to me more when I was actually a teenager than it does now, but it’s still fun. It bears no resemblance to my own high school experience.
  • The Breakfast Club (1985)
    Having gone to high school in the 80s, I must include a token of the brat pack oeuvre.

    • creepy new airport security technology can look under your pants

    I saw a NYT article this morning describing new airport security technology: passenger x-ray machines.

    X-ray vision has come to the airport checkpoint here, courtesy of federal aviation security officials who have installed a new device that peeks underneath passengers’ clothing to search for guns, bombs or liquid explosives.

    This creepy new technology can let TSA employees do a virtual strip-search. It actually looks very impressive, giving an outline of the passenger’s skin. And I guess I find it fascinating. But, and I repeat. I also find it creepy. And unsettling.

    Anyhow, this news story reminds me of a number of things. So here. Have a list:

    1. Superman (eg. 1978). He had x-ray vision. Could look through Lois Lane’s clothes to see her undies.
    2. Total Recall (1990). Shows security screening of the future with people walking along through full-body x-rays. We get to see skeletal structure in this movie, though. Not skin.
    3. The image the article shows looks a little like a 3D ultrasound. (Though the technology is totally different.)
    4. And I’m reminded of the airport security game (Hat-tip to Schneier, who has lots of interesting things to say about the games we play relating to “security.”) This game lets you play an airport security employee, screening passengers and their bags as they try to pass through security. Your task is to keep up with the ever-changing, and frequently random, restrictions on items that passengers may have on their person or in their carry-on bags as they pass through. For example, sometimes passengers are not allowed to wear their shoes as go through the security gate. And sometimes they are not allowed to be wearing pants.

    dude looks like a lady, lady looks like a dude

    Or, the clothes make the man (look like a woman or the woman look like a man)

    As I promised last night, while reflecting on the cross-dressing tendencies of the females of our household, I’ve put together a list of some cross-dressing instances in theater, film and TV. The entertainment media show us a host of reasons for donning the garb of the opposite gender. Whether it’s a lifestyle choice, or for some pragmatic or work-related reason, we see a variety of possible benefits.

    The list below is a bunch of movies, shows and plays that feature some sort of cross-dressing, that have further been tagged and sorted by additional features.

    1. We have two main types, as in two main genders. So representatives will be tagged:

  • (m->f): male dressing as female (dude looks like a lady)

    • and

  • (f->m): female dressing as male (lady looks like a dude)

    • 2. (kaw) Also note that a lot of these movies and shows also have been highlighted in lists of my kick-ass women project, so I’ll tag them, too. Especially those involving women dressing in men’s clothes. (Coincidence?)

    Movies, shows and plays that feature cross-dressing

    1. First, we have movies featuring transgendered or transexual folk:

    • Some dramas:
  • Glen or Glenda (1953) (m->f)
    Ed Wood stars, Ed Wood directs. Ed Wood wears fuzzy angora sweaters. Known (as are all of Ed Wood’s films) as a wonderfully bad movie. I need to see this some time.
  • The Crying Game (1992) (m->f)
    Yes, I know I just spoiled the surprise ending.
  • Boys Don’t Cry (1999) (f->m)
    Hilary Swank plays a teenage boy who was born biologically female. (Another one I haven’t seen. I hear it’s very good.)
    • Drag Queens of the stage:
  • Kinky Boots (2005) (m->f)
    Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Lola, a drag queen who needs some new shoes.
  • The Bird Cage (1996) (m->f)
    Nathan Lane plays a stage queen. Also pretends to be a woman off the stage to fool some folks.
  • La Cage aux Folles (1978), La Cage aux Folles II (1980), La Cage aux Folles 3 (1985) (m->f, m->f->m)
    Haven’t actually seen these. “The Bird Cage” was based on the first one. The second involves man pretending to be woman pretending to be man, from what I understand.
    • Road-tripping drag queens:
  • The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) (m->f)
    A drag queen goes on an Australian road trip.
  • To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995) (m->f)
    Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo as drag queens in an American road trip movie.

    • 2. Often, cross-dressing can be a work-related activity. In many cases, it can be about landing a job:

    • For example, for men who aspire to become a nanny, it may be helpful to pretend to be a woman:
  • Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) (m->f)
    Robin Williams impersonates a woman to land a role as his kids’ nanny.
  • Arrested Development (2003-2006) (m->f)
    Ther was a story arc about Mrs. Featherbottom: Tobias (David Cross) “disguises” himself as a woman to play a nanny in the spirit of Mrs. Doubtfire. His family pretends to be fooled because they got a cleaner house out of the deal.
    • Police and spy jobs often require clever disguises for undercover work. And what could be more cleverly disguising than opposite-gendered apparel?
  • Barney Miller (1975-1982) (m->f)
    Periodically, the men/detectives of the cast/department dress up (unconvincingly) as women in order to entrap potential solicitation offenders, muggers, or others.
  • Charlie’s Angels (2000) (f->m)
    Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore disguise themselves in suits and facial hair to infiltrate a tech company.
  • White Chicks (2004) (m->f)
    Shawn Wayans and Marlon Wayans play FBI agents. Two (black) dudes masquerade as two (white) chicks. For some reason or another. (Haven’t seen it.)
  • Supercop a.k.a.Police Story 3: Supercop/Jing cha gu shi III: Chao ji jing cha (1992) (m->f, kaw)
    Uncle (Bill Tung) makes an appearance as the mother of Jackie Chan and Michelle Yeoh, who are pretending to be brother and sister for an undercover assignment.
  • Supercop 2/Chao ji ji hua (1993) (m->f, kaw)
    Jackie Chan makes a cameo. In drag. I’m not really sure why.
    • Getting into, or out of, the military by way of getting into transgendered clothing:
  • MASH (1972-1983) (m->f)
    Klinger (Jamie Farr) spends several seasons dressing in women’s clothes to try to get out of the army.
  • Mulan (1998) (f->m, kaw)
    A girl pretends to be a boy in order to join the army.
  • Futurama (1999-????) (f->m, kaw)
    The episode with balls. Bouncing balls. (Called “War is the H-word”) Leela disguises herself as a man to join the army to keep an eye on Fry and Bender (who joined the army to get a discount on gum.)
    • Getting onto the screen or stage:
  • Shakespeare in Love (1998) (f->m)
    Set in Elizabethan England, when/where only men were allowed to act on the stage. Gwynneth Paltrow pretends to be a young man in order to land a role in Shakespeare’s new play.
  • Tootsie (1982) (m->f)
    Dustin Hoffman dons wig and dress to land a soap opera role.
  • Victor/Victoria (1982) (f->m->f)
    Julie Andrews plays a (male) female impersonator.
  • Farewell My Concubine/Ba wang bie ji (1993) (m->f)
    Leslie Chung (a man, by the way…ambiguous name and all) plays an actor in the Peking Opera who plays female roles on the stage.
    • And like for the Peking Opera and the Shakespearean stage, sometimes real-life actors in more recent times play roles of the opposite gender:
  • Peter Pan (f->m)
    The play written by J. M. Barrie. Stage performances of this play written by J. M. Barrie commonly feature women (Maude Adams, Mary Martin, Sandy Duncan) playing the lead role, a boy.
  • Iron Monkey/ Siu nin Wong Fei Hung ji Tit Ma Lau (1993) (f->m)
    The young boy, Wong Fei-Hung, is played by a girl (Sze-Man Tsang).
    • There’s the related sketch comedy tradition:
  • Monty Python’s Flying Circus (1969-1974) (m->f)
    The chaps (Graham Chapman, Terry Jones, Michael Palin and Eric Idle) don dresses, and speak in sqeaky voices. (I don’t remember Terry Gilliam ever appearing in a dress.)
  • Kids in the Hall (1988-1994) (m->f)
    The kids (Dave Foley, Scott Thompson, Mark McKinney, Bruce McCulloch and Kevin McDonald) wear a lot of dresses, and a lot of wigs. And sometimes make very convincing women.

    • 3. And finally, we have a bunch of miscellaneous reasons for cross-dressing. Prizes! Disguises! Housing! Respect! Modesty!

  • News Radio (1995-1999) (m->f)
    The episode where Dave Foley wins a costume contest by donning a wig and a little black dress. A bit of a tribute to his Kids in the Hall days.
  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon/Wo hu cang long (2000) (f->m, kaw)
    Zhang Ziyi runs off with a stolen sword and disguises herself as a young man. (Leading to that incredible scene where she fights a restaurant-full of men. And trashes the restaurant. Not that I condone the trashing of restaurants. I just love that scene.)
  • Twelfth Night (f->m)
    Play by Shakespeare. Made into bunches of movies, including She’s the Man (2006). Woman Viola pretends to be her brother. (I’m not actually sure on the motivation for this. Shamefully haven’t read or seen the play. Or movies.)
  • Just One of the Guys (1985) (f->m)
    Haven’t seen it. High school gal pretends to be a high school guy in order to be taken seriously.
  • Some Like it Hot (1959) (m->f)
    Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon disguise themselves as women to hide out from the mob. (And get to hang out with Marylin Monroe.)
  • Bosom Buddies (1980-1982) (m->f)
    Peter Scolari and Tom Hanks pretend to be women in order to get a good apartment.
  • Splash (1984) (w->m) (f->m)
    Daryl Hannah plays a mermaid who arrives in New York City without a wardrobe of her own. Staying at the apartment of Tom Hanks (not the one shared with Peter Scolari), she puts on one of his suits before heading out for a shopping expedition in order to avoid further displays of public nudity.

    • I’m a Jedi Knight, apparently

    You know how there are those formulas you can use to determine your Star Wars name? A bunch of them are available on the web. Most of them involve formulas along the lines of this:

    For your new first name:
    1. Take the first 3 letters of your 1st name & add
    2. the first 2 letters of your last name
    For your new last name:
    3. Then take the first 2 letters of your Mom’s maiden name & add
    4. the first 3 letters of the city you were born.

    How to determine your Star Wars honorific name & title:
    1. Take the last three letters of your last name & reverse them.
    2. add the name of the first car you drove/owned.
    3. insert the word “of”
    4 Add the name of the last medication or supplement you took.

    But you see, I don’t even need to do that. Because apparently, my name is already plenty starwarsesque. Behold!

    Alejna ignited her yellow lightsaber and positioned herself in the Makashi form, Garden dropped into a Niman form and ignited his two blue lightsabers. Garden jumped into the air and started swinging at Alejna fueling every swing with force speed. She blocked hit after hit…

    Yes, in the last few weeks, someone in the Star Wars role-playing universe has created a character named Alejna. Jedi Knight. And I’m happy to say that she can kick some ass. (What a relief.)