Yesterday’s Monday Mission, a project calling for posts in the form of a rejection letter, which I found to be a somewhat challenging mission. It’s not that I’m unfamiliar with rejection letters, mind you. It’s just that I couldn’t decide where to go with it. I explored multiple options. I posted the pirate one, but I also wrote another one. And not wanting to be wasteful, I’ll post it today.
Ms. Alejna, dude,
It’s a total bummer, but I gotta tell you. You didn’t get the job, man. It sucks, I know.
Your resume was, like, the awesomest. And you totally rocked the interview. We were all like, “woah, she knows her shit.”
But then there was this other dude. Or dudette, really, like yourself. And she rocked the interview even harder. Her quals weren’t as good, and for a while, we were all like, “can she even do the job?”
But then we went out for a beer, and we flipped a coin. And it was tails. Ouch, man.
It sucks to be you. And it sucks for me that I gotta be the one to tell you. Mr. Wilcox pulled a rock when I was sure he’d be all about paper, freakin’ paper pusher. And so I got stuck with it. Whatever.
Yeah, well, right. Ya know. It sucks, and all that. But if it makes you feel better, this place kinda blows sometimes.
William R. Bartholomew, III
Vice President, or Something Like That
Acme Stuff, Incorporated