I’m pretty sure I’ve had nightmares about missing an election. Happily, there were no impediments to me casting my vote today. It’s been a hard day to focus on work, feeling like the future is in the balance. In spite of that, I was fairly productive.
I woke up extra early today, hoping to catch a glimpse of the lunar eclipse. I set the alarm for 5, and somehow woke up before the alarm. I bundled up and went outside in the dark to look for the moon. After some wandering the yard and up towards the street, I came to the conclusion that the moon was too low on the horizon for me to see from our heavily wooded neighborhood. I was not motivated to go out driving by myself to seek out higher ground. Eventually, the sky lightened and turned to pink with the sunrise, and I went in to drink my morning tea and do the crossword puzzle.
It’s been a long, long day. I know that most of the country’s election results won’t be in for quite a few hours (if not days) yet. However, I’ve already seen the fantastic news that Maura Healey has been declared governor of Massachusetts. So at least there is some good news to hold on to.
Shortly after I posted last night (hitting the publish button at 11:59 p.m. or so), I headed to get ready for bed. I started by removing the necklace that I had chosen to wear. As I looked down at the pendant in my hand, the stone evoked the image of the slice of blood orange I had just shared in my post minutes earlier.
It was the first time I’d worn it, after getting it for myself last year. It had caught my eye at a local artisan market. Its sunny yellow called to me on a gray rainy day. (Probably also not a coincidence that sunniness attracted me, since I was deeply entrenched in promoting a local clean energy campaign that featured a lot of images of the sun.) I was entranced by the stone, with it’s elaborate repeating pattern looking like tiny flowers or slices of candied lemon. The vendor, who was the artisan who had designed and done the silverwork for the pendant, identified the stone as fossilized coral. I had never come across this before, and I was smitten. It was only a couple of weeks before my fiftieth birthday, so I indulged.
I didn’t do a good job of keeping track of the artist’s name. (Though looking at my Venmo record, I think I found her name. I can’t find a website for her, though.)
Above are more photos of it, with different colored backgrounds. (Left is on top of the marigold-colored velour top I wore it with. At right it’s on top of one of my new notebooks.) I realized that I probably need to put more effort into finding good light for taking photos of jewelry.
On a completely different note, I am stressed about the upcoming midterm elections. I have not been as closely involved with any campaigns this season. I had imagined that I would be doing some sort of campaign work, such as holding signs or canvassing. But in the end, I haven’t. I came close a few times, but ultimately I decided that I need to conserve my energy. I have a lot on my plate now, with multiple research projects, as well as substantially increased responsibilities in my town government. I’m also still recovering from Covid, and even after more than a month of testing negative, I’m not yet back to 100% and still have a cough when I get tired. I feel like I am making excuses, but I also know that my energy is finite. (It’s a hard truth for me to accept.)
Here I am rushing to post before midnight once again. It’s not that I forgot so much as I have had a busy day.
I just got home from helping a friend to celebrate a big moment in her life. (Namely, her divorce.) She served blood orange sangrias, with slices of blood orange for a garnish. The slice above looked like stained glass to me.
One of the reasons I ran out of time to write today was that I was inspired to make my friend a gift. A number of years ago (where that number is almost 20) I made some gifts for friends writing out messages in morse code using beads. I had big plans to make many more such pieces of jewelry, and stockpiled various tube and oblong beads (needed for the dashes). I spent an inordinate amount of time agonizing about which color scheme to use, and digging through my supplies. And changing my mind several times. And then it turns out I’m out of practice with bending the wire to make the chain, so the whole process took far more time than I expected.
I also neglected to get a decent photo of the finished project. (Namely, a necklace spelling my friend’s name in morse code.) Here are the beads I used: rainbow fluorite tubes (for the dashes), and two sizes of roundish glass beads for the dots and the letter spacers. (See also the finished product in poor lighting, and on an appetizer plate at my friend’s house.)
Only 4 days into November, and I already almost forgot to post. The truth is I’m feeling stretched a little thin and worn around the edges. I have a lot going on, and still somehow feel like there’s more I should be doing, or more I should’ve done. I think this mostly means I’m tired and should get to sleep. I have to get up early and have a long day ahead tomorrow.
So, I fall back to that fall tradition of posting a photo of a leaf instead of staying up later to write. I enjoyed the way this leaf looked as if it were floating. (As well as how it looked a little frayed around the edges.)
It was a long full day, but a good one. I had a bit of a mini-reunion in Boston over lunch with several friends from grad school, as one of them was in town for a conference. I got a bit of work done in the morning, and rounded out the day by watching a web lecture on the state of democracy. During which I doodled, and explored the colors of my new set of 30 gel pens. I determined that they do indeed have 30 separate colors of ink. (See below for color test and 3 stages of doodle. The light for taking photos wasn’t great, so you can’t see the full range in the image. Plus some of the differences are quite subtle.)
Here we are, more than half way through November, and this is my first post in close to a year. I realized about November 3rd that I’d missed my annual tradition of at least *trying* to blog every day in the month of November.
Life has been very busy and very full. I have a new job that, even though it’s technically part time, has me constantly rushing to catch up. (I’m teaching a course as an adjunct, and basically building the course as I go along. The opportunity only came up a few weeks before the start of the semester. Plus I’m commuting into Boston 3 days a week. And I still have a bunch of research group and community commitments. It’s been a lot.) So when I remembered that I’d missed my NaBloPoMo tradition, I didn’t spare too many wistful thoughts.
But then today is a special day for this blog: Happy 15th birthday little blog! I’ve missed you, and hope we can catch up soon.
It was just this morning that I recognized the significance of today’s date for my blog. And then a little bit later in the morning remembered the other significance of this date. This was the date I lost a dear friend, 14 years ago today. This blog will always be a little bit tangled up with my memories of her, and the grief that sometimes still catches me unawares.
Just this Friday, I found myself thinking of her, through a funny meandering path of thoughts and memories. We have developed a family tradition of having pizza on Friday nights, and I put together a special one to deal with my difficult dietary constraints, and with a bunch of vegetables. (Because I like vegetables.) Theo was helping me prep for the pizza, and was cutting an onion. And as Theo struggled with the burning and watery eyes of cutting onion, I found myself singing the Flight of the Conchords song, “I’m not crying.” (And then I found myself thinking of Elizabeth, who I believe was the one who introduced me to that band.)
“I’m not crying No, I’m not crying. And if I am crying It’s not because of you It’s because I’m thinking about a friend of mine who you don’t know who is dying. That’s right, dying. These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me. I’ve just been cutting onions. I’m making a lasagna. For one.“
So all of this is why, rather than getting my blog a cake (or reusing a photo of a cake), it felt more fitting to share some sliced onion.
This highly unusual year is finally coming to a close. And though there are parts of it I wish I could do differently, I’m not sorry to see the end of it.
2020: a confusing year.
I didn’t so much manage to keep posting regularly this month. I fell short of that goal, much like a lot of my other goals for the year. So, I suppose it’s a fitting end. I did manage to post every day in November, plus another 15 posts (16 if you count this one), so there’s that.
My 2020 posts were a little sparse.
I fell short on my reading goals. I planned to read at least 52 books. I finished 40. I barely read any physical books at all, and mostly listened to audio books. (I still count those.) The book group I was in sort of sputtered out after a few zoom meetings. I didn’t even try to follow the Read Harder Challenge list from Book Riot, after successfully completing it in 2019. I found I didn’t have the concentration to read books much of the year.
I walked the dog pretty much every day, and kept reasonably active, but I wouldn’t say I especially accomplished any fitness goals.
I accomplished a few professional goals, but fell short on some others.
I did a lot of volunteer work, but dropped the ball more than once.
I did a few creative projects, but never got off the ground on a few others.
I had one trip to California in February to see my mother, for which I am very grateful, but pretty much all subsequent travel plans were cancelled.
My family has stayed largely well, but we have had our grief, too. I have meant to write a post about a significant loss, but haven’t found the time or energy to do my feelings or the person justice.
I put a lot of time and energy into the US elections, and the results were mostly good, but we are still living in this weird reality where a bewilderingly sizable percentage of the population does not believe in the results. I feel like I still need to hold my breath until we are past the inauguration.
With two vaccines already being distributed in the US for the coronavirus, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know a number of people, who all work in some healthcare profession, who have already gotten their first shots. But with the gross mismanagement at the federal level, only a tiny percentage of the population have started to get vaccinated. At current rates it will be many, many months before it becomes available to me or my family. The tunnel appears to be quite long. And cases are continuing to rise oh-so-alarmingly.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it appears to be still quite a long, dark tunnel we’re in.
Today, we have broken with our tradition of taking the train into Boston to see the ice sculptures, eat at one of our favorite restaurants, and generally be tourists in the city. Instead, we’ll stay home, and stay warm and safe.
Seeing the ice sculptures in Boston: One of many traditions set aside this year.
In a year of big challenges and big stress, I have come out mostly okay. I feel like I was very busy all year, but didn’t get all that much done. The year took a lot of energy. In some ways, it was a huge accomplishment just to make it through, and have any products at all. My family has been mostly okay. We have jobs and a home. So I have much to be thankful for.
So now, I welcome the new year with some degree of hopefulness, but also with some wariness and weariness that come from the awareness that we are not yet out of the woods.
We did get to go for some walks in the woods this year.
Here is a more cheerful photo of woods, since I don’t like to end on such a melancholy note. I do actually really like the woods.
Wishing us all a safer, healthier, happier new year!
I’m trying to get caught up with some work projects, but I’m also still committed to some community volunteer projects. For one of them, a program to encourage the adoption of clean energy in local homes and businesses, I’ve gotten involved with doing some of the social media. And in coming up with a post on the theme of home heating/cooling, I went on a bit of a flight of fancy, and I made a thing. It makes me laugh.
Here’s my caption: “Spending a lot of time at home this year? If your summer cooling wasn’t what you hoped, and/or your winter heating could use an upgrade, we can help with clean heating and cooling solutions that will save you money. Learn more at https://www.solarizemendonupton.com“
I had a couple of cancelled trips this year. Not quite the beach scene depicted in the image1 above, but trips I was looking forward to nevertheless. Sigh.
On the bright side, I have had a lot of quality time at home, where I can enjoy drinking tea from my new favorite mug. (Featured in the above photo.)
The “Things Could Be Worse” mug from Calamityware. There is no better motif for 2020.
Here we are, 30 days into daily blogging, and I don’t feel that I’ve posted too much of substance. But that’s okay. I’ve reopened the creative outlet, and perhaps the posts can keep flowing. I still have lots of photos and stories I’ve been wanting to post.
I’ve realized1 that one of the things this blog does for me is to give me motivation to take stock of my thoughts and ideas. (And my photos, actually.) I’ve also realized that I do a lot of taking stock, in general, in reminding myself to appreciate all the wonderful people and things in my life. (And by things, I don’t necessarily mean objects, though I suppose I have things that I am fond of. Books and artwork come to mind, as well as other odds and ends I’ve collected.)
A few months ago (or possibly something like a year ago?), I started using a meditation app to deal with my stress. My favorite guided meditation is a nightly gratitude session, which I often do once I’ve gone to bed. It involves thinking back over the day, whether it was a good day or a bad one, and focusing on the good things, big and small. Because it’s just for me, there’s no pressure to come up with anything new or entertaining, so I am often grateful for the same general list. But that’s okay.
I settled on the post title of “taking stock” earlier in the day, without quite having decided exactly what direction I was going with it. There’s been a fair amount of taking stock of actual things in my life lately as well–as in actual inventories of objects. The various political postcard/letter projects have me doing a lot of counting and organizing of cards and stamps and pens. My work has me inventorying examples once more, though these aren’t so much physical. And at home we’ve been trying to stock up on food and home staples in preparation for potential pandemic-related issues again. (The US is definitely seeing alarming trends.)
This year has definitely seen some challenging times–for my family, for this country, and the whole world. There has been a lot of stress as well as sorrow. (I’ve taken stock of quite a few new gray hairs in the last few months.) But all of this taking stock makes me appreciate the bounty of good fortune that I’ve had, in spite of it all.
This photos doesn’t have a lot to do with what I wrote about, but it does have a bounty of stuffed animals. This was from last December.
Here I am in December of 2017, also with a bounty of stuffed animals. And there is Brodie, hoping that he’ll have the opportunity to bite some of those things. I put these photos here because apparently I don’t like to put up posts without photos.
1And by “realized,” I suppose I mean, “realized again.” Because the very tagline of my blog is “collecting my thoughts, and other things.” So I guess that’s what I had in mind when I started this blog 14 years ago.
collecting tokens 