After my last post, in which I declare that I barely noticed an entire decade, I’ve spent some time reflecting on the decade. Because I’m pretty sure I was there.
One thing that stands out in my memory is that I had to change my underwear.
And by that, I mean that I found that styles of underwear that I had been wearing previously no longer worked with new styles of pants.
You know what I’m talking about.
Low rise.
In the early years of the last decade, more and more people were dropping their pants. As the decade progressed, waistlines kept moving lower and lower, such that many feared what depths might be exposed before the trend reached its bottom. Hanging low on the waist, the jeans of this brave new world exposed a large swath of midriff in the front.
And from behind, they showed a lot more behind.
Before you knew it, you couldn’t walk down a city street without seeing hip young things showing off their coin slots.
This was a new dawn rising in the fashion world. Or perhaps a new moon. This was the dawning of the age of butt cleavage.
(Who knew that plumbers would start a fashion trend?)
We may not have seen much progress in many social trends in the last decade. We may not have seen great strides in the arts. What we did see was a lot more ass.
The 50s presented the poodle skirt. The 80s offered legwarmers.
The 00s had the butt crack.
collecting tokens 
I think we can all be very proud…
Proud indeed, Mr. Mills. This will surely mark our era in the, um, annals of history.
Snort. I looked at the kids sitting at tables in the Mall food court and it put me entirely off my slice of pizza. Love this, funny lady.
Thanks, Mary! And I know what you mean about the affect on appetite.
.. and the muffin tops- don’t forget them! Lets just say ’03-’04 were not good years to be walking to and from class with large groups of undergrads. My eyes!
Bshep, I’m afraid I can’t forget muffin tops, as I am still intimately acquainted with them.
And yes, 03 and 04 were particularly hard on the eyes. The images are still burned in for me…
Wow. You have actually identified the elusive defining feature of the 00s.
And that makes me glad to see the (rear) end of the decade! From now on, butt cleavage will no longer be on display, right?
I have already noticed that shirts have elongated (hooray! … in fact, I’m all about the dress-over-pants look. by which I mean dress-over-trousers, if there are any Brits reading this.), so even if butt crack remains exposed by the British-pants and American-pants combination (underpants and trousers), the shirt should keep it covered. Thank pantsness!
On the other hand, as long as we’re (I’m) talking about pants with the wrong length of “rise”, I’d like to register my dislike for high-waisted pants, which are extremely unflattering. Can’t we just keep the waistline just below the navel (not too high, not too low, just right! as Goldilocks would say) and be done with it?
I need to stop free-associating (British vs. American definition of “pants”? fashion? children’s literature?). I was clearly inspired by this opportunity to discuss pants with Alejna, the Queen of Pants.
Sally, I’m sure hoping we’ve seen the tail end of that trend!
And I’m with you on needing to find the “just right” rise. Let’s not go back to high-waisted pants. Nobody needs to have their rear look extra long.
Also, I greatly enjoyed your free association. Goldilocks is a frequent topic of conversation in our household–more frequent than pants, if you would believe!
and who can forget this snl skit- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCF8ZOYVXF8
Thanks, maja! A perfect addition.
Almost fell out my chair laughing.
Love this post, love it.
Aw, Kitty, you are too nice. Can there be a higher compliment than saying you almost risked injury due to laughing at something I wrote? I think not.
The coin slot is a new one, for me.
You know, it was a new one for me, too. I actually came across it in doing my “research” for this post. (In reference to that “commercial” that maja linked to above.)
What’s funny is that I remember at least once having to fight the urge to drop a quarter into the space revealed when an undergrad squatted down to retrieve something from the ground as I walked past.
This post cracked me up.
HA!
Thanks, Jennifer! Glad the cracks cracked you up.
and if you think about it, ’00’ kind of looks like an emoticon for a butt crack.
Oh, wow, Jean! You are so right! How could we have missed that?
Don’t forget butt-crack’s decorative adornment: The Tramp Stamp.
True, CG. Plus there was the Whale Tail. For those formal butt crack occasions.
too true.
and there’s a pants joke here someone.
“…there’s a pants joke here someone.”
Indeed, Painted. I think the whole fashion trend was a collossal pants joke, and we were all the targets. (Hmmm…I guess that would make us, collectively, the butt of the joke.)
LOL! Sad, but true.
Coin slot made me crack up.
Glad you enjoyed, Kyla!
GOLD!
So well said. Brilliant!
p.s. I’d be happy when the trend just go away… My body does not work well with low rise…
“Coin slots” … heh, that one was new to me too. Not to be forgotten now. Great post.
My husband has struggled with plumbers butt as long as Ive known him. We (me and my kids) used to make fun of him all the time, but with the new fashion trends of this decade, now both my son and daughter have began suffering the same fate!
A few years ago, I started noticing my 23 year-old son’s butt seemed to pop out a lot, and I joked with him that he was becoming his father. It was funny, he kept denying it so we had to take a picture of his crack to prove it to him. He’s still in denial about it somehow ;)
Then just recently I noticed my 20 year-old daughters butt crack was showing all the time too!
what have the pants of this decade done to my family? the other day they were all sitting next to each other and it was three cracks in a row. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.