about alejna

  1. I am a ______-year-old _______.
    a) 12, squid
    b) 41, woman
    c) 1, party game guaranteed to please the crowd
    d) blue
  2. I am currently in _____.
    a) grad school for linguistics
    b) a box
    c) really big trouble
    d) all of the above
  3. I am ______ ______.
    a) usually tired
    b) happily married
    c) wearing pajamas
    d) all of the above
  4. I have a ______ ______ named _____,
    a) six-year-old daughter, Phoebe
    b) sewer alligator, Fred
    c) big toe, Philippa
    d) false
  5. and a ______ ______ we call ______.
    a) little boy, Theo
    b) throbbing headache, Margaret
    c) dust bunny, Herbert
    d) only on Tuesdays, Fridays and the third Sunday of July.
  6. I think ______ is a funny word.
    a) pants
    b) pants
    c) pants
    d) a and b, but not c

Okay, and here’s a picture John took of me:


last updated: September 17, 2012

52 thoughts on “about alejna

  1. You know who the picture reminds me of? A younger, even more cerebral version of Andie MacDowell. As for you, I have no idea who you look like….

  2. The quest for perfect Pants is a longstanding one. Many have searched for the ideal symbol of this emblematic icon. There has been much coverage on the subject. Some academics argue that perfection is impossible. Others say not so, it’s all down to genes.

    Indeed, the great pants-philosopher, Levy of Denim, produced a schematic that took Plato’s theory of Forms further . For Levy, Pants was all about form. His addendum to Plato’s idea was not a re-butt-al, figuratively speaking. He postulated that Form clings to genes and to this day one of most widely used expressions in the field contains both a noun and an adjective incorporated in the effusive expression “I’m panting for more”.

    – Excerpt from “Pantalonia – The Path of Bottomless Knowledge” –

  3. Please feel free to share Levy of Denim’s Treatise with a greater audience.

    Some dissidents – notably Diogenes of Sinope were critical of Levy of Denim’s association with Plato’s ideas. He accused Levy of being inelastic in his coverage, of dressing part of the Form concept in such a way so that it became an inelastic pro-position. Levy of Denim was noted for labeling his ideas carefully and when Diogene’s criticisms reached him he was said to have sighed and murmured “That Diogenes is not exactly a barrel of laughs” The ancient greek translation is inaccurate because of ambiguity in this context and another meaning could be “He’s not getting me over a barrel”, but there is no collective agreement on this possible alternative meaning and in any case Denim of Levy was, at that time, apparently happily married to Levytica, a seamstressed lady from Syracuse.

  4. Publisher’s Second Note:
    When circulating the manuscript, please
    amend Denim of Levy to read –> Levy of Denim.
    Due to a slack moment Levy of Denim’s name became erroneously transposed in the ending sentence. It should have been checked more clothely before it was finished off.

    1. PoetTraveler–
      “Due to a slack moment Levy of Denim’s name became erroneously transposed in the ending sentence. It should have been checked more clothely before it was finished off.”

      I will make sure to dress…or um… address the erratum and give it my clothes attention. Clearly you are not a writer who slacks off lightly, nor one who skirts the issues.

      I must ask, did you compose this on the fly?

  5. alejna,
    a-dressing your commentary in reverse order (something I have been able to perfect, even though it means crutching at straws with such an attempt) let me assure you I am on the button when it comes to composing on the fly. The ability to zip through composition suits the inept innate sense of style vested in me, a hand me down from Levy of Denim, who was sometimes referred to in vernacular attic (a lofty term) – greek idiom as Cuttah of Calico.

  6. alejna,
    Long ago, before there were cups with handles, before the surprise invention of the automated tooth brush (it was intended to be a neat rotator for those living in high rise apartments whose pretensions to horticulture went as far as lining up earth-filled pots on narrow ledges outside their external windows) there lived, in a small village on one the scattered islands in the group known as the Cyclades, an artisan philosopher whom we now know as Zyptitus of Chrissi. History doers not make clear why he should have had a surname that implies he was from the Crete area, but he was always known as Chrissi to his family and Zyptitus to his customers. From the little we know, from faded wrappers, still with string attached, found in caves at Stroggy, Zyptitus had an enquiring mind, an inventive nature, a willingness to improve on whatever it was that held up the garments of those acolytes of Levy of Denim’s School Of Material Thought. You may be nodding as you read the exciting knowledge I am passing to you, but there is a discrete possibility that you are slipping into sleep, as an alternative to nodding with enthusiasm. The veracity of the remarkable facts about Zip (as his mother called him) is beyond dispute – or should be.
    I shall pause for a moment, if you are fortunate, and will return – at your insistence – later and continue to tell you more about Zyptitus of Chrissi.

  7. Having paused for more than a moment, and being ever conscious of the excitation that is evident over the never ending search for the booty that is thrust upon one’s mind, when considering the full-filling aspect of what Zyptitus was closing in on, one needs to know what impelled him into the position history now recognizes. Was it a need to move up in some way? Did it happen with Alacrity, a former class major who had achieved notoriety with a diss -ertation , against the modernity that was seemingly clothing in on him, entitled “If It Seems Well It’s A Stitch Up!” There is an apparently clear answer to the first question. Levytica, spouse of Levy of Denim, writes in her diary ‘The Anals of Pant Easy – An In Depth Approach (sub-title: Undone Is Where It’s At)’ .. “The artisan who came to see me yesterday, while my husband was away looking at barrels, did show me a way to cling on to my apparel more closely, lest it falls away at moments of breastlessness.” Again, we must be cautious about the translation from lofty greek because the interpretation is heightened in the process. What is more likely, according to other diaries kept by Levytica’s personal maid, Hyatus, is that Zyptitus was on a learning curve and wished to hold up his own end and that in trying to obtain the attention of Levytica he saw it as an inroad, a way to pattern himself on the genes of Levy, hoping that such things would rub off onto him and thereby enable him to sow seed and bring to fruition the construct of his artifact. Later history scribes have accused him of simply seeking booty, but, as we shall learn, his ideas to secure and unsecure pants clothely have been tested and upheld by many later students who otherwise might have buttoned down their expectations. In the field of Pants there is a broad consensus that Zyptitus of Chrissi’s contribution brought down many barriers.

    – Excerpt from “Pantalonia – The Path of Bottomless Knowledge” –

  8. So, I am guessing a happily married mother of two, boy and girl who can be headaches and make you think of pants often enough to keep you laughing.

    I think “boo-stee-yare” (bustier/bustierre) is a more puzzling and amusing word.

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