insert witty egg-themed pun here

We went down to John’s parents for Easter, and just got back a little while ago. (Ugh, it’s late.) But I wanted to share a few pictures from our egg-related festivities. The highlight of our holiday was having Phoebe’s first Easter egg hunt. To get ready, we dyed some eggs. Here’s the end product. (Two of the eggs seriously cracked during a hideous boiling accident, so were deprived of dye.)

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It had been many, many years since I’d dyed eggs for Easter. I think it was probably in the early 80s. I would expect great advances in egg-decorating technology since those times. Remarkably, the package of dye that John’s mother had on hand looked remarkably like the ones I remember from my childhood, though. Here’s our set-up, with pot of hard-boiled eggs and the egg-decorating kit.

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Please look closely at the date on the price tag.

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In case you can’t make it out, it’s “3/81”. As in March, 1981. Yes, this egg-decorating kit dates back to the egg-decorating days of my youth.

The 26-year-old dye tablets didn’t fare terribly well. Only one of these “fizzing” tablets actually managed to put on a display of fizz.

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With a little help from some drops of relatively fresh food coloring (which, judging from its packaging, may have been only 20 years old), we had some dying success. Voila!

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Of course, all our efforts were made worthwhile by Phoebe’s glowing face on the egg hunt!

questioning the need for thneeds

It’s raining today. Very wet, and quite cold. The rain is pooling in puddles on the icy snow in the front yard. And here I sit on this “cold, cold wet day.” And I’ve just realized that it’s Dr. Seuss’s birthday. Happy birthday, Dr. Seuss! (Yes, I do realize he’s dead, and unlikely to get this message.) And happy Seuss Day to everyone! (There’s a holiday I could get behind.)

I love Dr. Seuss. Well, his books. I didn’t know the man personally.

The Cat in the Hat is his best known masterpiece. This is a story about 2 small children left home alone, who are startled by a tall stranger who enters their home and wants to show them his “things.” Ah yes, those were more innocent times.

I grew up with the culinary classic Green Eggs and Ham. (I will not eat them with a fox, I will not eat them in a box.)

At this point, I think Phoebe’s favorite is The Foot Book, though There’s a Wocket in My Pocket is a close competitor. We have these two in board book form, so they get read to her more often. She hasn’t had as much exposure to reading books with paper pages. Though we did read The Cat in the Hat to pre-Phoebe a bit when she was still in utero.

the_lorax.jpg My favorite as an adult has been Seuss’s moving environmental treatise on the evils of mindless consumerism and the dangers of short-sighted industrialism, with particular focus on the threat to the ecosystem posed by excesses in the logging industry. Many people know it as The Lorax. Which also has pretty pictures of Truffula trees.

And while I don’t have time to really explore them now myself (I have an indeterminate number of minutes before Phoebe awakes from her nap), there are many fun Seuss things out there. (These things are fun, and fun is good.)

Thing 1: The Dr. Seuss parody page. It includes links to such items as “Spam-I-am”:

I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Thing 2: Dr. Seuss games

Thing 3: An index to the characters and creatures of Dr. Seuss

Thing 4: Pictures from the Dr. Seuss Memorial Sculpture Garden in Springfield, Massachusetts. (Who knew?)

Thing 5: “Who’s Who & What’s What in the Books of Dr. Seuss“, an encyclopedic work available in pdf format from Dartmouth College.

oink

Happy New Year! As you may well already know, it’s Chinese New Year. It’s year 4705 (For some fun information and descriptions of traditional Chinese New Year’s traditions, check out these couple of cool posts on the topic by YTSL.)
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Anyhow, this year is year of the pig. (Also called year of the boar. But I prefer pig.) And while I may not be able to manage much in the way of festivities for the day (I’m away from home and forgot to pack any festive red clothing), I offer this post as a small token of celebration. To welcome in the new Year of the Pig, I’ve put together a small list of some of my own favorite pigs. (These are a few of my favorite pigs…)

  1. Piggy. Nine Inch Nails. This song has these great opening words:

    hey pig
    yeah you
    hey pig piggy pig pig pig

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  3. Piggies. The Beatles. A classic song. “Have you seen the little piggies, living piggy lives”
  4. Small Pig, by Arnold Lobel. This was one of the first books I ever read. It’s about a little pig (a small pig, if you will), who liked to lounge around in a mud puddle. When he gets kicked out of his puddle and forcibly cleaned up, he runs off to find a new mud puddle.( Acceptable neatness standards be damned!)
  5. Charlotte’s Web. E.B. White. That Wilbur is “some pig.” This is one of my all-time favorite books of childhood. (I haven’t seen the recent movie, by the way, and not sure I can bear to.)charlotteweb.png
  6. Piglet. From the books by A. A. Milne. In the world of Winnie-the-Pooh, I identify most with Piglet. I’m a worrier. (Strangely enough, I couldn’t score a Piglet on the 100 Acre Personality Test. I got Pooh, and when I tried to adjust my answers to be what I thought was more Piglet-like, I got Owl, and then Kanga…)
  7. The Flying Pig sketches from The Kids in the Hall. Bruce McCulloch plays Flying Pig, a flying pig who appears on the scene to rescue people from boredom while they are standing in line. (By the way, I once bought a “flying pig” mug in the airport Cincinatti, Ohio, while waiting for a connecting flight. That city seems to have adapted the slogan “where pigs fly,” based on the “when pigs fly” idiom. And developed a lot of merchandising to go along with it. I bought the mug because of my affinity for the Kids in the Hall, and their flying pig. And my affinity for coffee mugs. And I suppose somewhat for my affinity for pigs.) Anyhow, back to the Kids in the Hall flying pig. I found some of the sketches on YouTube. Here’s one. Enjoy.


[update 4/28/09: the old video was taken down, so I replaced it.]

getting over V.D.

blahblah.jpgI have reasonably fond memories of Valentine’s Day from my elementary school days. Craft projects with doilies. Decorating pink and red construction paper hearts. Exchanging enormous quantities of little cutesie valentine cards with all the other kids in class. Eating little candy hearts.

I don’t remember when our relationship went sour, mine and Valentine’s Day. I don’t think we had a fight. And Valentine’s Day didn’t exactly run out on me. I think it’s more that we just grew apart as I got older.

Elementary school days passed into junior high days, and Valentine’s Day stopped bringing me those special treats. No more craft projects or bags full of valentines. The little candy hearts lost their magic.

Those were awkward times.

Then came high school, and suddenly Valentine’s Day was all about the pressure. All Valentine’s Day pretended to care about was romance. And while Valentine’s Day was off having romantic interludes with so many other girls in my school, I was left feeling lonely. Rejected. I wasn’t getting the cards and flowers, or the heart-shaped boxes of candy. It was hard to believe that we’d ever had that connection, Valentine’s Day and me.

Perhaps it was then that bitterness set in. Followed by jaded cynicism. I knew that Valentine’s Day was shallow, all about greeting card sentimentality. Valentine’s Day pretended to care, to be about love. But really, it was all just for show. I knew Valentine’s Day was full of crap.

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Little candy hearts courtesy of ACME heart maker.

This post is being submitted to the //engtech monthly contest, under the topic “why I hate Valentine’s Day.”

eat your hearts out

It’s Valentine’s Day again. And one thing that means is the annual return of little candy hearts. Little chalky-tasting pieces of candy, shaped like hearts, and with text printed on them. These are a bizarre tradition, but apparently one that’s been around for well over a hundred years.

The original traditional candy hearts were started by NECCO, The New England Confectionary Company, in the 1800’s, and that company still dominates the little candy heart trade today. The official name of their hearts is “Sweethearts® Conversation Hearts”. Typically, the little hearts have sayings like “be mine” and “kiss me” stamped on them. I hadn’t realized, but apparently they change the assortment of sayings on the hearts from year to year. This year, according to their website, the theme is inpired by animal lovers, with sayings such as “top dog”, “my pet”, “purr fect”. (These may be particularly popular among furries this year.)

and.jpg I picked up a box of the NECCO Sweethearts at a local convenience store. Not because I like to eat them, or give them. But because I was amused to see that “and” was stamped on a couple of the hearts. Now with conjunctions! go_home.jpg (My set didn’t have the animalistic sayings, though. Perhaps I have some of last year’s batch. But how can you tell if these things are stale? Does chalk go stale?) Other than “and,” though, there weren’t any other random function words. But there was “go home,” which seemed oddly cynical for these folks.

And in case the sweetness of the traditional hearts is too saccharine for your tastes, you can now buy BitterSweets:

Now available in TWO unique collections, “Dejected” and “Dysfunctional,” featuring up to 37 unique sayings each!

“Dejected” sayings include:

I MISS MY EX | PEAKED AT 17 | MAIL ORDER | TABLE FOR 1
I CRY ON Q | U C MY BLOG? | REJECT PILE | PILLOW HUGGIN
ASYLUM BOUND | DIGNITY FREE | PROG FAN | STATIC CLING
WE HAD PLANS | XANADU 2NITE | SETTLE 4LESS | NOT AGAIN

“Dysfunctional” sayings include:

RUMORS TRUE | PRENUP OKAY? | HE CAN LISTEN | GAME ON TV
CALL A 900# | P.S. I LUV ME | DO MY DISHES | UWATCH CMT
PAROLE IS UP! | BE MY YOKO | U+ME=GRIEF | I WANT HALF
RETURN 2 PIT | NOT MY MOMMY | BE MY PRISON | C THAT DOOR?

What with technological advances, we now can also get virtual little candy hearts. Here’s one generated just for me when I filled out a quiz. And unlike some other results I’ve had on these things, this one kinda fits me.


Your Candy Heart Says “Get Real”


You’re a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.
You don’t lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

Your ideal Valentine’s Day date: is all about the person you’re seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

What turns you off: romantic expectations and “greeting card” holidays

Why you’re hot: you don’t just play hard to get – you are hard to get

But for many years, I’ve wanted to compose my own little candy hearts. And while NECCO can print up special batches of hearts for you, I’m not sure I’m ready for this level of commitment:

Got a special message for your sweetheart? NECCO can custom imprint Sweethearts Conversation Hearts, if you’re willing to buy a full production run – approximately 3,500 pounds of the six-flavored candies or 1.6 million individual hearts.

But have no fear. Now there are websites that let you make up your own candy hearts, and spare you the sugar overload. One such is this one, which has allowed me to engrave the following sentiments in virtual candy:

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But while the large size of the candy hearts above allows for longer expressions and therefore a greater range of possibilities, my favorite little candy heart generator is the ACME Heart Generator. Like the hearts I remember from my childhood, and like those you can still find today, the size of the heart is small. The text is limited to 1 or 2 lines of 4 characters each. And these constraints provide a bit more of a challenge.

Here are some of the ones I’ve come up with. Enjoy.

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