Every day, thousands of children must go without causes to represent. And every day, thousands of posters are printed with no children to promote their causes. Please, don’t let your poster go without a sad child’s face.
These children have no posters.Many children wander in search of posters.Brought to you by the campaign for posters on bedhead awareness.Does your cardboard recycling poster have a poster child?Mustachioed babies need your help. So do posters.Only you can prevent hangnails.Don't let your poster go without sad children!
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So, I’ve been deeply mired in working on my poster for this conference. One of the things I’ve been doing is selecting good examples from my data to illustrate my points. So-called “poster children” examples.
What with the craziness of work, making travel arrangements, as well as loads of other family and life obligations, I have had no time for blogging. Either the writing or the reading. This makes me sad. Clearly I need a poster child to express this sadness.
In other news, the Just Posts are coming right up. If there are posts from August that you’d like us to include, send them along!
We at the Pants Institute are dedicated to education of the public on the many contributions that Pants have made to our culture and society. In our previous monographs, we have been pleased to share with you in-depth discussions of great works of Classic Pants Literature as well as more popular media, such as critical analyses of the genre of Pants Horror Cinema. Our next installation of this ongoing series of Great Seriousness and Importance delves into the pants classics of the stage:
Pants of a Salesman
A middle-aged man discovers that his pants are both terribly unflattering and decades out of fashion.
Waiting for Pants
A story of time wasted away in the laundromat when the dryer cycle is unbearably slow.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Wear Pants
Two men hang out at the laundromat playing quarters while waiting for Hamlet to finish his laundry.
Pants on a Hot Tin Roof
When a family’s dryer is broken, they consider laying their laundry out on the roof to dry.
A Raisin in the Pants
A legal drama about the status of a raisin left in a pocket on laundry day.
Who’s Afraid of Virginia’s Pants?
An inebriated couple exchange verbal barbs as they sort through their dirty laundry.
The Importance of Wearing Pants
Two young men practice deception by frequently changing their pants.
Oedipus Pants
The story of a man’s unholy love for his mother’s pants.
Barefoot in the Pants
A newlywed couple find how hard it is to put on pants when you are already wearing shoes.
A Doll’s Pants
A marriage falls apart when a woman discovers what a small pants size her husband really wears.
The Pants of Dorian Gray
A young man’s pants increasingly show the stains of his escapades.
The Pants Menagerie
The story of a blogger who writes obsessively about pants.
—- Thanks to Painted Maypole, thespian and pantsblogger extraordinaire, whose recent flurry of pantsposts has given me the much needed kick in the pants to get back to pantsblogging. Thanks also to John, who suggested the addition of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Wear Pants.
Go read Pride and Twitterverse at Under the Mad Hat. Right now. It srsly cracks my shit up:
Darcy:
@biz Why must avatar pictures be so small? #twitterfail
CharlotteL:
@LizzyB Darcy keeps looking at your profile. What’s up with that?
LizzyB:
@CharlotteL I dunno but it’s freaking my shit out. Srsly.
You may have seen someone else’s Austenbook, which was Pride and Prejudice on Facebook, as shared by casa az and raincoaster. It was very funny. But Pride and Twitterverse rocks my world.
You know something else that’s funny and Austenish? The book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which sits unread (or undead?) on my kitchen counter. When I read about it at Celebrating the Absurd, I had to order it.
You know something else that’s funny and Twitterish? The Skwib’s Twitterpocalypse.
#3 Victoria was the youngest and first Queen of England who had the ability to fire laser beams from her eyes.
And you know what else made me laugh in reference to Queen Victoria this week? Bon at cribchronicles.com with her educational post on May Two-Four: if we don’t get a holiday.
You know what’s freakin’ me out? All of the bloggers I’ve listed above are Canadian, and their combined brilliance and humor is keeping me from getting work done. I think there must be a conspiracy. Perhaps to get me to start spelling humour with that extra u.
They are also all on Twitter. I fear I may be doomed to go over to the dark side after all. Bite me.
We have some foam letters that Phoebe plays with at bath time. We’ll often talk about and name letters, and sometimes spell a few words on the tub walls.
A couple of nights ago, Phoebe picked up a D.
“What words start with a D,” John asked.
“Dog,” says Phoebe, quite quickly. We are impressed, and feel quite pleased with our parenting.
“Right! What else?”
Phoebe thought a bit. “Um…”
“Door,” I suggest.
“Dandelion,” says John.
“Daddy,” I say.
“Damn!” Phoebe suggests. John and I pause. Crap, we do swear too much in front of her.
“Oh…dam! Right! Like the dam where we go for walks sometimes!” I say, gladly remembering the dam where we go for walks sometimes.
“And dammit!” Phoebe says proudly.
Phoebe on the dam where we go for walks sometimes.
We don’t watch a lot of TV in our family, but sometimes we do let Phoebe and Theo watch some short videos. They like shows best that have colorful costumed characters and musical numbers with lots of rhymes:
Today is May Day¹, a holiday which many celebrate by dancing around the maypole. I don’t have a maypole, but I may dance around the living room with Phoebe. Perhaps while listening to Safety Dance³.
As Painted Maypole pointed out last year, the video for Safety Dance features a maypole. (Also Morris Dancing. I probably won’t attempt to Morris dance with Phoebe.)
(You can see slightly better quality video at the MTV site here).
She also entreated us to compose a May Day poem or song for this week’s Monday Mission. I struggled with this assignment, but
inspiration finally struck, and happily without causing serious injury.⁴ Here is my May Day tanka⁵:
the maypole beckons
revelers frolicking ’round
bright ribbons entwined
you can dance if you want to
you can leave your friends behind
Dancing 'round the maypole in the video for Safety Dance by Men Without Pants. I mean Hats.
³ Safety Dance is one of Phoebe’s favorite songs, and will sometimes ask to hear it over and over again. She requested it at the wedding we went to in March, and cried when she learned we’d only get to hear it the one time.
⁴ I wasn’t sure where to fit this in, but I learned that May Day, as a distress call, is actually based on m’aider from the French phrase venez m’aider, meaning “come rescue my sorry ass.”
⁵ I was introduced to the Tanka form by girlgriot, who stunningly wrote a tanka a day for the entire month of April.
Even more shockingly, I left a number of important sock-related things of last week’s sock-themedThThTh list:
Let’s Talk About Socks: a George Michael song
I Want Your Socks: another George Michael song. That dude was seriously into socks.
Socks and Candy: A Marcy Playground song. Oh, man…what’s that smell?
The Socks Pistols: an early British punk band known for such hits as “Knitting in the U.K.”
Socks in the City: a TV show about some single socks looking for their mates. (Note: contains explicit laundry scenes.)
Socks, Lies and Videotape: security tapes reviewed after a series of thefts at the laundromat
The Opposite of Socks: A movie in which Christina Ricci comes of age and explores footwear alternatives
Socks on the Beach: an unpleasant footwear decision leading to much sand being collected between the toes. Also a fairly obscure and unpopular cocktail.
A Midsummer Night’s Socks Comedy: a movie about people who wear socks with their sandals
socks education: high school classes in which kids learn about foot anatomy and the consequences of socks. (Don’t forget the importance of safe socks!)
socks maniac: one who just can’t get enough socks
the fairer socks: should be washed separately from the darker socks
casual socks: shouldn’t be worn to a formal occasion
socks scandal: what may happen if you choose the wrong socks for the occasion
The Second Socks: Simone de Beauvoir’s less famous oeuvre on her collection of mismatched footwear
The Joy of Socks: the definitive volume on the pleasures of socks
Not all of you may know this, but I’m a big fan of the socks. Living close to Boston, you hear a lot of people talking about the socks. People really get excited about socks this time of year. Especially red socks.
You’ll be happy to know that we have our share of red socks in this household. Phoebe and Theo each have at least a couple of pairs each. You can catch them sporting their red socks just about any day of the week. That’s right, plenty of red socks sporting events here!
One of these days, I’m going to have to learn more about the games that people play with their red socks. Or maybe it’s in their red socks. People get so excited about red socks game days. I can just picture everyone hanging out, wearing their red socks, playing boggle and parcheesi. Or maybe people take off their socks and throw them. Either way, what fun it must be.
I do get a little concerned, though, when I hear people talking about getting red socks tickets. I’ve gotten my fair share of parking tickets in and around Boston. I know that there’s always a danger that I’ll get a ticket if I forget to feed the meter. But do they really need to ticket people who forget to wear their red socks?
Well, I’d best get back to my laundry. Those socks aren’t going to wash themselves!
So many of my friends are now on Twitter that I thought I should finally jump in to see what all the brouhaha is about. Here’s a slice of what I’ve been up to so far. (Note: I’ve arranged things chronologically for you, rather than reversed like it shows on the Twitter site.)
Hey, I’m on Twitter! about 13 hours ago from web
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Look at me, I’m twittering. about 13 hours ago from web
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I’m still Twittering. about 12 hours ago from web
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@mrrutabagahead Try rubbing on a paste of baking soda, peanut butter and ground fenugreek. about 12 hours ago from web in reply to mrrutabagahead
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@spacedudette That will certainly change the way I think about ceiling tiles. about 12 hours ago from web in reply to spacedudette
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This twittering business is great. about 11 hours ago from web
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I sure am glad I’m twittering. Or should I say Twittering? With a captial T? about 11 hours ago from web
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So I guess we have to work with 140 characters. Really? So that doesn’t seem like all that many. I’ll have to learn to start being more bri about 11 hours ago from web
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Hey! That got cut off. I guess I’ll just continue here. Where was I? Oh, right. “ef.” about 11 hours ago from web
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See? I can be brief with the rest of them. Just the other day I was telling this great joke about a plumber who found a weasel stuck in hi about 11 hours ago from web
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@squirrelguirrel It wouldn’t be the first time I had a restraining order taken out against me. about 11 hours ago from web in reply to squirrelguirrel
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@flourpower I tried your cupcake recipe, but the olives exploded. Did I do something wrong? about 10 hours ago from web in reply to flourpower
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@sheepsheep Yes! about 10 hours ago from web in reply to shesheep
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@milkshaken Maybe. about 10 hours ago from web in reply to milkshaken
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@spoonbender Under absolutely no circumstances. about 10 hours ago from web in reply to spoonbender
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@melancholycauliflower I found that strangely arousing. about 10 hours ago from web in reply to melancholycauliflower
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I’m really getting the hang of this Twittering business. about 10 hours ago from web
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I sure am glad I’m Twittering. about 9 hours ago from web
collecting tokens 