A Panthropology 101 Vocabulary Primer

For those of you new to the study of pants, it may be helpful to learn a few key terms commonly used by the field’s top panthropologists. As an exercise, please use one of the following words in a sentence.

    pantipathy: a strong aversion to pants
    pantiquity: bloomers of old
    pantithesis: the opposite of pants
    pantidote: a remedy for really ugly pants
    pantidisestablishmentarianism: a fierce opposition to going shopping for pants
    pantagonize: to cause annoyance by mocking someone’s ugly pants
    pantepenultimate: the pants you wear when you are almost, but not quite, down to your last pair of clean pants.
    pantecedent: the pants you wore yesterday
    pantennae: trouser-shaped appendages atop the head (see also pantlers)
    panterior: the front side of one’s pants
    pantathema: really, really ugly pants
    panthem: a song of pants celebration. PANTS!
    panthology: a collection of short pants
    panthrax: an infectious disease that makes one’s pants fit poorly
    panthropormorphism: ascribing properties of pants to objects or creatures
    pantlers: the horns atop the head of a pantelope
    pantomime: the trousers of a mime
A pair of pantennae.
A pair of pantennae.

This load of pants was for a Monday Mission, hosted by Painted Maypants. This week’s assignment was to write a post in the form of a vocabulary list.

hellfire and dalmatian

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Hellfire and dalmatian.

As I mentioned, Phoebe wanted to be a firefighter for Halloween this year. Her costume turned out to be a cinch. She’d gotten a freebie fire hat at a recent daycare field trip to the firestation, and then our daycare provider had some other firefighter costume gear to lend us. A totally free costume.

Seeing as he doesn’t yet have a say in the matter, I figured I would dress Theo to go along with Phoebe’s firefighter. (As you may have noticed, I’m all about going with themes.) At first, I thought, “Theo can be a fire!” As I thought about the costume, however, I realized that there was a good chance that he would end up looking like a baby on fire. Um…perhaps a tad more disturbing than I had in mind.

So, the plan was to go with a dalmatian (the traditional firehouse dog).

For the pre-Halloween party on Tuesday, I hadn’t managed to get a dalmatian costume together. Theo went as a (very cute, and still black and white spotted) cow, instead. On Wednesday, I stopped by a used children’s store (where they sell used things for children, not actual used children). I had plans to get some white clothes, a white hoodie if possible, to which I would affix black spots, a tail, and some ears.

As it happened, the store had a rack of Halloween costumes. Which were additionally marked down. And there was a dalmatian costume. In Theo’s size. For $4.00. Suddenly, the whole home-made costume idea seemed like it would be a big ordeal.

Apparently, though, I still had a hankering for assembling a Halloween costume, because I decided to put together a costume for myself. I would be the fire to go along with the theme. I wore a red shirt layered over an orange shirt, along with an orange and red swirly-patterned shawl that I happened to have picked up for 1 euro at a Sevilla flea market. I fashioned a hat out of fleece left over from Theo’s carrot costume from last year, and attached flames of red and orange tissue paper to it with staples. (I was in a hurry. I made the hat this afternoon while Theo napped.)

I was quite pleased with the end result, especially considering that I bought nothing new to make my costume.

Of course, wearing this hat around our neighborhood reminded me of something: the fact that I have no dignity.

John, on the other hand, has some. He totally ignored my suggestion of a costume for him. Because you know what would have gone really well with both the firefighter and the dog costumes? A fire hydrant.

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NaBloPoMoDoReMi

It’s that time of year again: The time when, even though I am overcommitted with work and family obligations and have been totally slacking off in the the blogging department, wow did this sentence get too long for me to even pick up where I left off before I started the parenthetical. I should really eat breakfast and get ready for work. Do you ever feel like you have trouble finishing things? It’s like that time when I started to put on my pants when the doorbell rang and I…

Oh, right.

So, it’s the time when I feel compelled to sign on to blog every day for a month. (Or at least, I have felt so-compelled twice before.)

I have yet to put my link in the NaBloPoMo blogroll, though I plan to today or tomorrow. But first, I wonder if I could have your help. You see, new this year, we can select categories for our blogs. Two categories, even. From among those on this list:

  1. Crafts
  2. Humor
  3. Entertainment
  4. Education
  5. Shopping
  6. Health
  7. Parenting
  8. Politics
  9. Religion/Faith
  10. Sex
  11. Hobbies
  12. Medical
  13. Photography
  14. Cooking/Food
  15. Psychotic Ranting/Anonymous Foaming
  16. General

So, if you had to pick two from that list to describe this place, I’m guessing you wouldn’t pick Sex and Religion/Faith. Which two would you pick to describe this place?

If you have a blog of your own, which two would you pick for yours?

a cow and a firefighter walked into a bar

Well, it wasn’t a bar. More of a community center. (I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere, though. Maybe involving a cow tipping.)

Phoebe is one cool looking fire fighter.
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And I defy you to find a cuter cow.
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(Theo may get to be a dalmatian on Saturday, but I haven’t gotten his costume together. I had this here cow on hand.)

celebrating 5+ years of marriage in Massachusetts

ring_exchangeFive years ago today, John and I stood before a room full of our friends and family to express our commitment to each other, exchange rings, and celebrate our love.

We didn’t get married that day, though. This was a day of ceremony and festivities to supplement our rather unceremonious entry into the state of legal marriage almost 5 years earlier.

The reasons for our 1999 wedding-that-wasn’t-quite-a-wedding are a story for another day, and one that I have briefly told before.

While we had planned to have the wedding ceremony soon after the legal marriage, it wasn’t until 2004 that the pieces finally fell together. Meanwhile, in May of 2004, Massachusetts became the first state to legally recognize same-sex marriage. We were very pleased with this news, and I feel real pride in my adoptive state about this issue.

John and I are not exactly religious. (This may actually be an understatement.) As such, we don’t belong to any church or other religious organization. However, as religion is an important part of the lives of many people who are important in our lives, I wanted to have our wedding be at least spiritual, if not overly religious.

When it came time to pick an officiant for our own wedding ceremony, I also wanted to find a person who supported marriage equality.

I remember driving past Unitarian Universalist churches displaying rainbow flags and messages supporting same-sex partners. Living in rural Massachusetts, in an area where churches and even some homes will sometimes display sayings of hellfire and damnation, it made me smile to see the progressive messages so boldly and proudly displayed.

Not only did the UU church support marriage equality, but members of the Unitarian Universalist church fought actively to bring about the legal recognition of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.

Choosing a minister from a Unitarian Universalist congregation seemed a clear choice, and it was one that I was very happy with.

Our wedding ceremony added something to our relationship. To have a joyous celebration that we shared with our friends and family, a public acknowledgement of our commitment, was a rite that I appreciated in ways that are hard for me to pinpoint. Our legal marriage, on the other hand, added things to our relationship that are easy to identify. The possibility of being able to share a health insurance policy, for a start. Plus many other rights and benefits:

There are over 1,400 rights that come from being legally married in the eyes of the government. (source)

I am happy to be married, both for the symbolic union with the partner that I love, and for the benefits that this union affords us.

I am also happy to live in a place where couples are not denied the right to marriage based on their gender.

                    777px-Gay_flag White Knot

lessons from the other side of the Street

Here’s a bit of “unnecessary censorship.”

This video taught me several important lessons:

    1) My mental age is 12.
    2) The videos I show Phoebe and Theo aren’t that far off from Sesame Street after all.
    3) I should be extra careful sending emails with silly youtube links late at night.
    4) The autofill function for the address field in my mail program is not always my friend.
    5) Especially since my spouse and my advisor have names that start with the same 2 letters.
    6) I am lucky that my advisor has a sense of humor.

Brought to you by the letter [bleep].

Monday momentum

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This task was completed as part of the Monday Missions. This week’s assignment was to post in the form of a tanga or a nonnet. Like Painted Maypole, the illustrious MM taskmaster herself, I put together a tanka tanga. And like Painted, I’m also hoping I’ll get around to trying my hand at the nonnet.