Category: lists

Potentially kick-ass women movies that probably suck

This is another installment of my ongoing project to collect, classify and critique movies, TV shows and other media that prominently feature kick-ass women. I started by putting together lists of my all-time favorite movies in this genre. (I also started a consolidated list, for quick reference, but have to update it.) A recent contribution to the project has come from another blogger, who put together a list of her 10 favorite Hong Kong kick-ass women movies. Other installments from me have included a couple of lists of movies that I haven’t yet seen, but would like to. I also recently made a list of movies with kick-ass women that I found disappointing. (Whether it was disapointment in the movie, or disappointment in the potentially kick-ass women.) This next list somewhat straddles the last two categories: movies with potentially kick-ass women that I haven’t seen, but don’t have high expectations for. In many cases, I’m (morbidly) curious about them, though.

9 potential kick-ass women movies I haven’t seen, am not sure I want to see, but have some morbid curiosity about

  1. Barb Wire (1996)
    This is the one starring Pamela Anderson (Lee). I really don’t expect anything redeeming about this movie, though I did read a review on imdb saying the movie is fun in a campy way.
  2. Batman & Robin (1997)
    This looks awful. I’ve read that it’s awful. But I’m somewhat morbidly curious about Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl.
  3. Starship Troopers (1997)
    I stumbled across a mention of this one at some point in my “research,” but from a source I don’t have much trust in. Not sure the details on who the kick-ass woman is. It has Denise Richards and Dina Meyer. (Funny, I just typed Dina Richards and Denise Meyer…guess that reflects that I don’t really know either of their work.) Googling “Denise Richards” and the movie title brought up various mentions of breasts and sex scenes, which is not a good sign. Oh, and I did find this useful abridged version of the script, though.
  4. Out of Sight (1998)
    Jennifer Lopez plays a US Marshall. I vaguely recall that this is the movie where she lets her own ass get kicked due to mushiness for George Clooney.
  5. Entrapment (1999)
    I have very low expectations of this for 2 reasons: 1) Sean Connery, who is, as far as I can tell a misogynist. I blame him for some of the atrocities of The Avengers (1998). I don’t think he likes to have a character he plays bested by a woman. and 2) Catherine Zeta-Jones. I once read an interview with her in a magazine (I don’t even know which. I was probably in a waiting room somewhere) where she talked about the importance of the and the challenges associated with being…pretty.
  6. Miss Congeniality (2000)
    I have serious doubts about the kick-ass qualities of Sandra Bullock in this, but I’m curious. Looks to be a lightweight comedy.
  7. Lara Croft Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life (2003)
    Angelina Jolie, once more. The first one was moderately disappointing. What should I expect from the sequel of a moderately disappointing movie?
  8. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
    I just don’t know if I can stomach this one. What with Arnold and all. Kristanna Loken plays a female terminator. That Arnold presumably whoops.
  9. Catwoman (2004)
    I wanted this one to be fun, but I heard it was pretty bad. (Although one friend of mine said she enjoyed it.) Halle Berry wears the catsuit.

Another list of kick-ass women movies

Not one of my lists this time, though. I’m excited to share that another movie buff has put together a new list of some of her favorite kick-ass women movies on her site Webs of Significance. Check out her list of 10 kick-ass women movies, which features a selection of Hong Kong movies in the kick-ass women genre.

9 disappointing kick-ass women movies

In my continuing quest to find media that prominently feature kick-ass women, I have come across examples of such that well…haven’t measured up. In some of these, a potentially kick-ass character was disappointingly wimpy. Or the actor/actress couldn’t pull off the role convincingly. In others, the movie was not great. In still other cases, the movie just plain sucked. Here’s the list of my biggest disappointments. As with previous lists, movies are ordered by year produced/released. With one big exception: I’m saving my all-time biggest disappointment for the end of the list.

9 kick-ass women movies I hoped would be better:

  1. …coming up at the end of the post…
  2. Cutthroat Island (1995)
    I really want to like this movie, and it has its moments. Geena Davis plays a pirate. How cool is that? Lots of action, fight scenes, chase scenes, etc. And Geena Davis plays a pirate. But somehow, unfortunately, it’s just not that good a movie. But Geena Davis plays a pirate!
  3. The Fifth Element (1997)
    I remember looking forward to this one, since I’ve liked Besson’s other movies, and since it appeared to prominently feature a kick-ass woman. I saw it in the theater. However, I found the movie to be generally pretty forgettable. (As in, at this point, I don’t remember much beyond some bright colors and some irritation with Bruce Willis.)
  4. Star Wars: Episode I – the Phantom Menace (1999)
    This movie disappointed so many in so many ways. One of the ways in which it disappointed me was that I thought there was an opportunity for Natalie Portman to kick some ass. I was unimpressed. (And things just got worse in Episode II…)
  5. Rush Hour 2 (2001)
    Another movie I don’t remember too well. This one has Zhang Ziyi, playing a kick-ass villainous type. Problem is, she seems pretty unstrung, from what I remember. And of course, she’s not the star, so her character doesn’t get to win.
  6. Tomb Raider (2001)
    While Angelina Jolie did kick ass moderately well in this, the movie was pretty weak overall. I do remember a few cool fight scenes. I should probably give it another chance.
  7. Daredevil (2003)
    Another movie I really wanted to like. Probably because of Kevin Smith‘s involvement, as well as being a comic book/superhero movie. But let’s face it. Ben Affleck is just not convincing as a superhero. But Jennifer Garner kicked ass as Elektra in spite of things. At least in the fight scenes.
  8. Underworld (2003)
    I loved Kate Beckinsale in Cold Comfort Farm (one of my all-time favorite movies, though not in the kick-ass woman genre). However, this movie was…well…not great. And Kate was not terribly convincing in an action role.
  9. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
    I’m not sure what was going on with this movie. I found the first one entertaining and funny. This one just pained me.

And here it is. My all time biggest disappointment in a movie in the kick-ass women category:

  1. The Avengers (1998)
    How could they???

To say that The Avengers (1998) movie disappointed me would be like saying Everest is a pretty big mountain. That eating the chicken salad sandwich you left in your car all one hot July day may lead to stomach upset. That the Hindenberg disaster was the result of an unfortunate mishap. What I’m saying is that this movie was a gigantic, mountainous gut-spewing fireball of a disaster.

Okay, perhaps I exaggerate. In that my expectations were pretty low, so I supposed the disappointment level couldn’t have been that extreme. But please understand that I love the Avengers show, at least in its 1965-1967 incarnation. That I have idolized the character Emma Peel, as portrayed by Diana Rigg, since my formative teenage years.

This movie had a variety of “flaws” (Ralph Fiennes’ cardboard performance as Steed, the inclusion of the character “Mother,” Sean Connery’s unconvincing role as a megavillain, to name a few), which could have been overlooked if only the portrayal of the character Emma Peel had been appropriately…like Emma Peel. But she just wasn’t. Uma didn’t cut it.

I actually got a fair amount of enjoyment, after I saw the movie, just from ranting about how many things they got wrong. Believe it or not, I want to watch it again. So that I can relive those rants, and perhaps share them here.

New Year’s resolutions for 2006

It’s been quite a few years since I’ve made a list of New Year’s resolutions. And here it is, the beginning of another new year, and it seems like a wonderful opportunity to set some goals. Having a new baby can lead to difficulties in getting many things done, so I’ve decided to set some goals that I know can be achieved. Namely, some that I’ve already reached.

A New Mother’s Retroactive Resolutions for 2006

  1. Personal appearance: Lose 10 pounds
    Physical appearance is important to so many people, and I think weight loss often tops people’s New Year’s resolution lists. I can honestly boast that I lost at least 10 pounds in a single night! While the process wasn’t exactly painless, it sure was quicker than dieting.
  2. Health and fitness: Exercise more
    Another common goal is to improve one’s fitness levels. And I did indeed “exercise more” in 2006. The trick to this one is to take advantage of the inherent ambiguity of the term more. Since it is necessarily a relative or comparative term (i.e. something can be/have/do/etc. more XXX than some other thing), I choose to leave out the specifics of the comparison. For example, if I wanted to say “I plan to exercise more than I have been exercising” my resolution would have failed. However, if I consider my resolution to mean something like “I plan to exercise more than various people who are a) comatose b) dead or c) of a more extreme couch potato nature than even myself,” I have achieved this goal in spades.
  3. Fine arts: Write a song
    Let’s not leave out creative and artistic growth. I actually wrote several original compositions, complete with lyrics. My greatest hits include “The Diaper Song” (We’re changing the diaper, and we’ll put a new diaper on…put a new, put a new, put a new, put a new diaper on.) and “The Bouncy Song” (I have a little girl, her name is Phoebe Lenore, and she likes to bouncy bouncy…bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy Phoebe…)
  4. Feeding the mind: Read some books
    It’s always important to strive for intellectual breadth and depth. I’m happy to say that I’ve read quite a few books this year. Many of them quite thick ones. Well, with thick pages, at least. And I’ve even gone as far as to nearly memorize several of them, including: Goodnight Moon (Brown), Bear Snores On (Wilson), The Foot Book (Seuss), Quiet Loud (Patricelli) and The Going to Bed Book (Boynton).
  5. Home improvements: redecorate the house
    Let’s not forget the home. I can quite honestly say that there have been many changes to the appearance of our home. Not a single room looks the same. The new look is definitely more colorful than ever! The new palette includes a shift from earthy tones (mostly muted browns and grays, typically represented by wood and stone) to an array of chartreuse, tangerine, fuchsia, cerulean and lemon yellow. Mostly represented in plastic and some plush.
  6. Productivity and daily routine: Wake up earlier in the morning
    Who doesn’t want to feel more productive? I used to frequently waste the day away by sleeping until 8:00 a.m., or even snoozing in past 10:00 on weekends. I now always wake up before 7:00 a.m. There are even many days when I wake up before dawn: by 6:00, or 5:00, and sometimes even 4:00! And I don’t even need to set the alarm clock.
  7. Etiquette: write and mail thank you notes in a timely manner
    This one is for real, actually. Though the interpretation of “timely manner” may be subject to my own somewhat lax standards. I determined that I should finish writing thank you notes for the presents given for my daughter’s birth (in February 2006) within the same calendar year as her birth. I am bound and determined to achieve this goal. (Don’t quibble with me over today’s date. I will have those letters written in 2006.)
      8. our new living room decor
      Our new living room decor.

9 more kick-ass women movies I want to see

Here is yet another installment of my kick-ass women in movies and TV project. Since I’m starting to have trouble keeping track of which movies I’ve already listed, I’ve started up a master list. So far, it has my first 5 lists, and can be found under pages in my sidebar.

Below is the second list of movies that I should see. (To those of you gave me some more recommendations, Thanks!) As in the previous installments, the movies in this list are ordered chronologically.

9 more kick-ass women movies I want to see

  1. Supergirl (1984)
    I really know almost nothing about this one, but I have fairly low expectations from this US-made movie from the darkest depths of the Reagan era. I’m curious, though. We need more women superhero movies.
  2. Swordsman II/Xiao ao jiang hu zhi dong fang bu bai (1991)
    This Brigitte Lin movie has been recommended to me by a new friend and Hong Kong cinema buff. While I’d been curious about this movie in the past, her review of the movie makes me downright eager to see it.
  3. The Swordsman III/Dung fong bat baai 2: fung wan joi hei (1992)
    If I like the second Swordsman, I’m instructed to see the third.
  4. Bride with White Hair 2/Bai fa mo nu zhuan II (1993)
    I haven’t yet seen this sequel, starring Brigitte Lin, even though I already have the DVD in my collection. I should get to it!
  5. Point of No Return (1993)
    Bridget Fonda stars in this La Femme Nikita/Nikita remake. The reviews aren’t as bad as I’d expect from a remake that didn’t need to be made. (Though how many remakes really do? Why is that folks make remakes of the good movies? Ooh. There’s a fun list to make…seriously flawed movies that should be remade.)
  6. Smilla’s Sense of Snow (1997)
    Julia Ormond stars in this mystery/thriller. I don’t know too much about it, though I read the book ages ago. (From what I understand, though, the movie makes a pretty big departure from the book.)
  7. The X Files (1998)
    This is the movie, which a friend (a big fan of the show) says she found a bit disappointing. It’s probably still worth considering for Gillian Anderson’s famed role as Scully.
  8. Resident Evil (2002)
    Milla Jovovich stars. Based on the game. Has been recommended to me. Have duly added it to my queue.
  9. Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
    The sequel to the above item.

Some kick-ass women movies I need to see

Here’s another installment in my ongoing project to collect and categorize kick-ass women movies and shows. This is a list of such movies that I haven’t seen yet, but hope to (or should) see someday soon. (This is my fifth list in the series. The first four lists are of movies I’ve seen and loved, or at least enjoyed.)

9 kick-ass women movies I need to see

  1. Coffy (1973)
  2. Foxy Brown (1974)
    Two 70’s classics starring Pam Grier. I’m curious, but wary. Wary of the 70’s mostly, I guess.
  3. Aliens (1986)
  4. Alien 3 (1992)
  5. Alien Resurrection (1997)
    It’s pretty shocking that I’ve never seen any of the movies in the Alien franchise. Especially considering that Sigourney Weaver’s role of Ellen Ripley is legendary in the kick-ass woman genre. These are at the top of my to-see list. (I need to see the first one, too, but I understand that Ripley is not yet too kick-ass yet in that one.)
  6. GI Jane (1997)
    More military than most of the kick-ass women movies I watch. Demi Moore stars in this one as woman in a Navy Seals training.
  7. Die Another Day (2002)
    Halle Berry is supposed pretty good in this, though I’ve heard it’s not a great Bond movie overall.
  8. House of Flying Daggers/Shi mian mai fu (2004)
    I believe this one is supposed to be pretty good. It’s got Zhang Ziyi. I have high hopes.
  9. Elektra (2005)
    This should have been great. I heard it wasn’t. I’d sill like to check it out. Jennifer Garner reprises (somewhat) her role from Daredevil.

last minute gift ideas for folks who have everything

Running out of time for holiday shopping? Tired of spending lots of money on wasteful gifts that people don’t need? Here are some creative, thrifty and useful last-minute gift ideas that anyone can put together. Enjoy!

  • Everyone loves holiday treats! Cakes, candies, cookies and the seasonal favorite, fruitcake. Chances are, Aunt Martha will already have eaten too much of these. So how about giving her a festive jar of antacids? Mix up a variety of Tums, Rolaids, perhaps some chewable Pepto-Bismol. Use that tree-shaped jar you got candy in from your coworker.
  • Out of ideas for the in-laws? Consider a bouquet of toothbrushes, toothpicks, toothpaste and of course, floss. Get some of that green foamy stuff they use for floral centerpieces and shove some stuff in. Voila! An attractive array that will brighten up those smiles.
  • Show your loved ones you care! Give some support for the tough months of the cold and flu season. Dad won’t sneeze at his gift basket featuring a box of Kleenex (make sure they’re not used!), a package of decongestant and some cough drops. If you’re feeling particularly generous, throw in a couple bottles of Nyquil, one red and one green. So festive!
  • Why go for the pricey perfume? Your sister will surely appreciate other scented options just as much. Go for the improve-your-smell assortment. Breath mints, underarm deodorants and room deodorizers. And what could say Christmas more than the little tree-shaped car air freshener?
  • Uncle Bill will surely appreciate a new pair of rubber gloves, a scrub brush and some dish detergent. Worried he won’t have a use for them right away? Include a used coffee mug. (That one with the kitten in a santa hat you got from your office secret santa will be just the thing!)
  • You know how people package up pretty little kits to make cookies, smores or other desserts? Instead, offer Mom a do-it-yourself set for a traditional delight that will surely make her nostalgic: grilled cheese! A loaf of bread, a stick of butter, and a package of American cheese. (Nothing says “I love you” like individually wrapped slices of pasteurized processed cheese food!) For an extra finished look, place these items in that big tin with the ice-skating teddy bears that you got cookies in last year. (Shake out the crumbs, though. You don’t want to be tacky.)
  • Jingle bells. Singing chipmunks. Bing. Nothing says holiday cheer more than those old standard Christmas tunes. That we get to hear again and again. And again. What better way to help than to give the gift of pain relief? Advil. Stick a bow on it.
  • And finally, what do you do when you realize last minute that there’s one more person you forgot to buy for? Give the gift guaranteed to be regifted: wrapping paper! Gift wrap up those last remnants of gift wrap and bows. As an extra bonus, you won’t need to put your gift wrap away. It’s all taken care of!

    • Another 9 kick-ass women movies

    Here’s another installment in my endeavor to catalogue, critique, and otherwise classify movies, shows and other media that prominently feature kick-ass women. This is my fourth list of movies. The first three lists contained more of my all-time favorite movies (or at least those movies I know better), but this list still includes some great movies (or at least some movies that have great kick-ass women roles). At some point soon, the lists will be moving into the following territories:

    A pre-list list of upcoming lists:

    • Movies that I hear are good, which appear to have very kick-ass women, but which I have (shamefully) not yet seen
    • Movies in which there are some great kick-ass women, though with roles that are less central
    • Movies with kick-ass women where either the characters or the movies themselves were disappointing (or just plain awful)
    • Movies that I haven’t seen, but heard or suspect are crap, but which I should probably still see anyhow.
    • TV shows! I’m happy to say that TV has many more kick-ass women characters than in the days when Cathy Gale and Emma Peel first fought their way onto the small screen. I’ll likely start with my favorites.

    And then at some point, my plan is to devise a rating scheme whereby I can actually rank the movies, shows and kick-ass women characters.

    Okay, onto the real list. Like the previous lists, these movies will be ordered chronologically.

    Another 9 kick-ass women movies

    1. A View to a Kill (1985)
      Grace Jones (Mayday) played an atypical “Bond Girl” role in this one. Not restricted to the role of pillowy soft femininity to bolster the masculinity of Bond.
    2. La Femme Nikita/Nikita (1990)
      This is an important movie that probably should have appeared on one of my earlier lists. Anyhow, a great movie, and a great role. Anne Parillaud kicks ass in style. And in French. Perhaps even in French style.
    3. Thelma & Louise (1991)
      This is more about kick-ass strength of character than ass-kicking action, but this movie is still a classic of the kick-ass women genre. Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon take no prisoners.
    4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
      It’s not the amazingly great TV show, but still fun. Kristy Swanson’s portrayal of Buffy is still worthy of being labelled kick-ass.
    5. League of Their Own (1992)
      I’m not generally a big fan of sports movies, but this one is worth mentioning, especially since it’s based on some real-life women who kicked ass, in their way.
    6. Iron Monkey/ Siu nin Wong Fei Hung ji Tit Ma Lau (1993)
      Jean Wang plays a supporting role, but holds her own and kicks ass along with Donnie Yen. This movie also scores extra points because the kick-ass young boy in the movie was actually played by a kick-ass young girl. And it’s a great martial arts movie, overall.
    7. Supercop 2/Chao ji ji hua (1993)
      It may be pretty clear that I am a big fan of Michelle Yeoh. In this one, she reprises her role from Supercop (the one with Jackie Chan). It wasn’t a super movie, but it did have some super ass-kicking scenes.
    8. X-Men (2000)
      While this movie gets points for having women superheroes, I actually found the X-Women to be a wee bit wimpy. Especially in the fight scenes–they only kick moderate ass. On the other hand, Rebecca Romijn as Mystique counterbalances with a more impressive display of ass-kicking, and is menacing to boot.
    9. Mrs. & Mrs. smith (2005)
      I can’t say I loved this movie, but I did appreciate the kick-assedness of Angelina Jolie’s character.

    9 more kick-ass women movies

    Here is the next installment of my compilation of lists of movies and shows prominently featuring kick-ass women. (The first two have more of my all-time favorites, but this list still has a bunch of great movies where the women have great kick-ass roles.)

    9 more kick-ass women movies

    1. Peking Opera Blues/Do ma daan (1986)
      Brigitte Lin, Cherie Chung, Sally Yeh in 1920’s China. I don’t actually remember too much about this movie just now, but I do remember that I enjoyed it. (An added bonus was the entertaining subtitles, with lines like “you see the uppest window…”) I look forward to watching this one again.
    2. Batman Returns (1992)
      Even though she’s no Eartha Kitt, I actually really like Michelle Pfeiffer in her role as Catwoman. (The rest of the movie is so-so, though I appreciate Tim Burton’s style.)
    3. Bride with White Hair/Bai fa mo nu zhuan (1993)
      Brigitte Lin stars in this beautiful Hong Kong fantasy. Lots of swordplay.
    4. Heroic Trio/Dung fong saam hap (1993) Maggie Cheung, Anita Mui, Michelle Yeoh kick ass in gloriously dark Hong Kong style.
    5. The Replacement Killers (1998)
      Mira Sorvino was great in this movie. Too bad she doesn’t do more action movie roles.
    6. Hero/Ying xiong (2002)
      Maggie Cheung and Ziyi Zhang show some impressive martial arts skills in this interesting, complex, and beautifully made film.
    7. X2/X-men 2 (2003)
      While the first X-men movie will make it onto a list at some point, I actually thought the women made a better showing in the second movie. Halle Berry (Storm) and Famke Janssen (Jean Grey) do a decent job of kicking ass. Rebecca Romijn (Mystique) does a better one.
    8. Kill Bill, Volume 2 (2004)
      The first one is already on an earlier list, but this one deserves mention also. Uma kicks ass reasonably well in this one, too. There is not quite so much action as in the first, but I do like the homage to the Hong Kong cinema martial arts training tradition. (Hmm. Hong Kong cinema martial arts training tradition. There’s a long compound for you.)
    9. The Incredibles (2004)
      Elastigirl (voiced by Holly Hunter) makes a decent show of it in this fun Pixar production.