collecting my thoughts, and other things
It’s apparently hard for me to get back into the swing of posting daily.
But I won’t let a day of failure keep be from my goals. I’ll climb back up on that swing, and start kicking my legs again.
Even if it means posting a bunch of photos that I took years ago (and may well have posted here years ago).
Before you know it, I’ll get into the rhythm of it, and feel the breeze in my hair. (Blog posts cause a bit of wind, don’t they? Sometimes they may, at least, be full of hot air.)
I haven’t managed to do much holiday baking hte last couple of years. This morning, though, I found myself at home without needing to rush out the door, and so I dug out my recipe notebook and made some cookie dough. Here is the butter and sugar from one batch, before they were creamed together, catching the light from the window. (I made the dough, following making some pancakes for breakfast. While I was mixing the dough, I mused about how the same few ingredients can result in such widely varying forms, depending on proportions and preparation method. I also mused that this seemed like a good metaphor for humanity. But it is late, so I will have to leave this metaphor half-baked. Or perhaps leave it to chill in the refrigerator overnight before baking, like the dough I prepared.)
Here we are, one month past the US election. I’m still not over it. I don’t plan to get over it. What I am trying to figure out is how I can play a role in protecting the social progress this country has made, and to push back against the racism, bigotry, homophobia, xenophobia and all the other flavors of closed-minded, small-minded fear of the other that this president elect has shown and encouraged in others.
I am still working to find my voice. I am working to strengthen my resolve, and bracing myself for a long fight. I’ve felt like I’ve been treading water, just focusing on keeping my head above water enough to keep breathing. I plan to take action soon, but the truth of the matter is that I am not a strong swimmer. (This is true literally as well as figuratively. I think this metaphor comes to mind because being in deep water brings me a sense of dread and near panic. Much like the coming change administration.)
So I continue to post here daily, as part of my commitment to speak out. It may seem odd that posting photos of leaves and trees serve any function towards my goals of addressing issues of social justice, but they are functioning for me as a way to keep the communication lines open. (Or perhaps of keeping my toe in the water, if I want to stay with that metaphor. But if I am treading water, it’s more than my toe in the water.
This was a tough month. I started off with high hopes and lofty goals, but my motivation and my optimism have suffered a major hit. I did manage to post to my blog every day this month, as planned, but my idea to share a daily bit of gratitude was less successful.
Even though I posted *something* every day this month, I mostly haven’t written the posts I’ve wanted to. The unexpected election results and their aftermath have continued to have a big impact on my thoughts and to some extent on my actions. I would still like to write more about this. I hope to keep posting here regularly. I think in order to keep the momentum, I will continue to post assorted photos and lightweight things as I work to unpack my weightier thoughts.
These two photos were among some I took back in 2010, when I was doing the daily photography project. I remembered the one of the “hope” train derailed, and went hunting for it. Funny as it was, it wasn’t actually a great photo, so I mucked with it a bit in a clumsy way.
For the record, I considered calling this post “hope derailed,” but my decision not to perhaps reflects that my hope has not entirely derailed. I am planning to get it back on track (as it were) in the coming months.
Repetition
of shape and lines
forms the impression
of a unified whole.
Variation
in color, texture,
size and position
highlights the plurality
of the parts.
A structure
seeming so solid,
exposes its fragility
in its bends and cracks.
Okay, this really isn’t about me. I just wanted to use that line for a title to go along with this photo of this cute little alligator baby.
Though things have been quite hectic the last few weeks, and I seem to have been able to mostly keep my head above water. (My kids, though, have actually been taking swimming lessons, so they have been learning to keep their heads below water.) (Really that doesn’t have much to do with anything, aside from being one more thing in our only super-packed schedule, at a time when there are big things going on in our lives. Thus making it harder for me to keep my own head above water. Metaphorically speaking. Happily, the swimming lessons don’t involve dunking me. Wait, did I saw that this wasn’t about me? It totally is.)
But I also do really like this photo of this cute little alligator baby.
Waffle aftermath.
Life has been busy the last few days, full of lots of good things, but leaving me without much time to write much of substance here. In my commitment to posting daily this month, it feels a bit like I’ve been dropping crumbs.¹ I have several posts that are brewing in my head, but not yet ready.² One post that will be coming up soon is thanks to my friend Sarah, who has picked me as one to carry on a meme about the writing process. I entreat you to follow these crumbs to her blog³ and sample her words. Her writing is expertly prepared, rich with buttery layers, and baked to a golden perfection.⁴ If you are like me, you will find her blog to be at once satisfying and leaving you wanting more.⁵
—
¹ Or scraps and the occasional shard. I admit that I do enjoy the sequence.
² Though with my crumb metaphor, a baking metaphor would be a better one. The dough of several posts is rising in my head? Um…I don’t think so. My brain doesn’t like the sound of that at all.
³ And by that, I mean, click the link.
⁴ I totally just made myself want a croissant.
⁵ She also said some nice things about me.
⁶ This post has a very high footnote to sentence ratio. This footnote doesn’t go with anything, really. I just felt like it.
