driving home

So, um, yeah. I have another bad driver’s license photo.

I didn’t end up going to the RMV on Wednesday, and went this morning before John had to go to a meeting. I wasn’t sure there would be time, but I thought I should give it a try. In the end, my number got called just at the point that I’d determined would be the latest time I could wait before heading back home. The transaction went fine, except I had trouble getting a decent signature with that stupid plastic fake pen dealy. By the time it was time for my photo, I just really needed to get out of there. I went with the first photo. I look bedraggled, disheveled, and weary.

In other words, just how I felt.

I guess I’ve been feeling rather run down. I just hadn’t really realized how much. I’ve been falling asleep while working at night and waking up bone tired in the morning, I’ve been so fatigued the past few weeks that I was actually convincing myself that I must be pregnant. The last few days had me practically at the point where I was choosing names for the twins (as surely it must be twins).

But I’m not pregnant. I’m just really damn tired.

Yesterday was a particularly tiring (and trying) day, with rushing around and a long commute and meetings, and trying (not all that successfully) to fit in pumping. I ended up getting stuck in traffic, being late to meet with the friend who was kind enough to be my subject, late to my scheduled lab meeting, getting a parking ticket, rushing out of my meeting, and having a really long uncomfortable drive back to pick up Phoebe and Theo from daycare. And I was late for that, too.

So today, I should have probably just taken it easy instead of rushing around some more. And now I’m stuck with another awful photo for up to ten years. I was amused when I left the RMV with my new temporary license, and drove home feeling mildly victorious for having gotten that dealt with.

But by the time I got home, I was hating the photo, and feeling like crap. I’m actually pretty comfortable with my looks in general. I mean, I’m not thrilled with them all the time, but my appearance is just not all that important to me. Until I see a bad photo, that is. And it reminds me that I haven’t managed to get my hair cut in over a year, and that I’m tired and busy and rushing all the time and that most of my clothes don’t fit me all that well. It reminds me of how little time I have to take care of my own needs, let alone my appearance.

Nothing like a bad photo to drive all of that home.

17 thoughts on “driving home

  1. I hope you get some rest this weekend.

    I made a big effort to look good for my DL photo. So imagine my annoyance when I got my license in the mail and saw that I look like an Oompa Loompa: very, very orange.

  2. Oi, what a day. The tiredness has been settling into my bones lately. I catch myself microsleeping, which is making me very wary of driving.

    Rest. We need rest. Let’s get it…somehow…some way….

  3. Sisters of the Bad DL Photo, unite!

    I’m sorry you’re feeling so worn down. Maybe you can slip the kiddos some Baby Benadryl today and have some time to yourself?

    Clearly, I am not a mother, but it sounds like a good idea to me. I won’t tell DHR, I promise.

  4. Sorry you’re so exhausted (and for your bad photo … can you retake it?). You are juggling so many things. I’m not exactly advocating the Baby Benadryl, but is there a day coming up — soon when you can drop the kids at day care … and not have anything else to do until it’s time to pick them up? Cand you call in sick or something, take a much-needed mental health day?

  5. oddly enough, the best drivers license photo i ever took was in Los Angeles – I had played Queen Elizabeth that morning (complete with wig and white face) then got a flat tire on the 10 on the way to the DMV, had to get towed, have it changed, etc.

    best picture. no logical explanation. other than drivers license photos suck in general.

  6. In these parts, we go to the DMV. All I can think is that in your state, RMV stands for Republic of Motor Vehicles. That can’t be right.

  7. My first reaction is that it is highly unfair to use the words “bad driver’s license photo” as a link and then not link to said photo! Seriously, if your stats tell you how many times your links are clicked on, I bet that one is higher than normal. Every single hit is a disappointed person, I guarantee it!

    But then I read on to see that you are truly bummed about it. All I can say is that unless something drastic has happened since I last saw you, you are in no way letting yourself go. You look great! (and anyway, you never look fatigued when you’re fatigued. The only way I can tell is from what you say, not your looks).

  8. We had a saying in the travel industry that if you actually look like your passport photo, then you really need the holiday! I believe driver’s licence photos operate on the same principle. They are supposed to suck.

    Really, in real life, I’m sure you look heaps better than one lousy photo appears.

    Which is not to say you shouldn’t treat yourself to an afternoon at the hairdresser some time soon. You deserve a bit of pampering.

  9. I get told all the time I look just like my photo. This does not seem like a compliment to me.

    That said, I agree that pampering is always in order. :)

  10. I feel you girl. I was wondering exactly how early I need to go to bed so that I can wake up in the morning and feel functional. Not even cheery, just without that heavy weariness. And guess what? Earlier than 9:30pm.

  11. flutter-
    Severe is at least respectable. (But I am amused.)

    Oompa Loompa! Too funny. (And I’ve gotten a bit of rest, thanks.)

    Yes, I know what you mean about the driving. It’s pretty scary. I’ve been largely off caffeine for the last couple of years, but there have been a few drives lately where I’ve caffeinated.

    I’m not sure how well the Benadryl works. I’ve heard it can backfire and get you wired kids. Now whisky, on the other hand…

    I think I’m going to ask about an extra day of daycare next week, which might help the immediate pressures. I can’t quite call in sick, seeing as I mostly work from home, but maybe if I can get more time to actually do the work…
    (As for the photo, it’s not really worth my time. I’m sure I’ll be laughing about it again once I’m feeling more myself. And what’s 10 years, right?)

    That is one dramatic driver’s license day! If that’s what it takes to score a decent photo, I guess I’ll have to settle for the bad one. I don’t have the energy to even think about a flat tire. (But I might enjoy dressing up as Queen Elizabeth.)

    Thanks! (Can I borrow a cat?)

    RMV doesn’t sound right to me either, but there it is.

    The traffic on that post doesn’t seem especially high…but perhaps it does involve a higher than usual number of disappointed visitors. I don’t quite have a gauge. (Maybe I need one.)
    As for the photo, I’m not sure it’s the photo itself that bummed me out so much as the realization that it seemed beyond my power to look decent, and reminded me of how crappy I’ve been feeling. (Also, John laughed when he saw it.)
    (And thanks for the affirmation on my appearance. I do appreciate it! Funny to notice that you’re the only commenter here who actually has seen me in person.)

    Funny bit about the passport photos. I don’t even remember my own passport photo. I guess it’s pretty forgettable, which is probably a good thing.
    I’m not sure I know how to get pampering, but a haircut I will get. Even if I have to hack away with the scissors myself. (Sadly, I have considered this option.)

    Well, I hope you at least have more depth than your photo! And thanks for your comment, and the encouragement.

    Yes, usually when we get a bad photo, we can just ignore, rather than lugging it around with as a keepsake.

    Hmmm. 9:30? Actually, I’ve fallen asleep that early (and even earlier) a few recent nights, when putting Theo to bed. Of course, I’ve then woken up a few hours later to try to accomplish something else. (Or putter around on my computer.)

  12. our kids are about the same age, i think…and oh how i get this. the time that i’d spend on self-care just gets eaten…if not by care of kids or house (b/c i’m IN the damn house all the time and i don’t function well in entropy) then by sleep, precious sleep. yet i know i need some changes.

    my DL pic is from last year, when i was on bedrest. i sneaked out one day to the DMV when i realized my license had expired three months earlier. i look like a bloated creature who’d been locked in an attic for months. divine.

  13. Kyla-
    That sounds great, though I’d have to get someone else to drink the drink for me…

    Yes, I’m pretty sure our kids are very close in age. I don’t function well in entropy, either, and yet that’s we we’ve got. I guess I’m just generally not functioning well.
    (And your DL photo sounds charming!)

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