apples and crisp fall days

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Big bins of apples.

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I love the fall. I especially love fall in New England, with the stunning foliage and trips to pumpkin patches and apple orchards. (And you know we’re big fans of Apples in this household.)

On Sunday we paid a visit to a local apple orchard that has an apple tasting each year.

We’d been apple-picking at this orchard in previous years, but I wasn’t sure what to expect for the tasting. It turns out that it was a very low-key event, with not too many people. But there were a whole lot of apples.

Inside the barn/farmstand building, they had set up a long row of wooden bins, each with a different kind of apple. In front of each bin was a little bowl with apple slices, and attached to each bin was a tag with the name of the variety, and bits of information about the cultivar and its history. I felt like I should have taken notes. (For example, I wish I could remember to tell you which kind was the most popular apple in the US in 1900.)

I knew that the orchard claims to grow over 50 varieties of apples, but I thought they’d perhaps have a dozen or so available to taste. I was quite impressed that they had probably closer to 2 dozen kinds out on display with samples set out for tasting. It turns out the folks at the orchard store apples that are typically only available earlier in the season specifically for the tasting weekend.

In spite of all the varieties, I ended up choosing a couple of bags of some familar apples: Macouns (a Mac variety) and Empires (which I love for making applesauce). And now I should have plenty of apples to make an apple crisp.

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The orchard has this gigantic walk-in refrigerator. I wish had someone in there for scale.

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Apples of my eye.

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Theo, post-smooch-from-Phoebe.

hellfire and dalmatian

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Hellfire and dalmatian.

As I mentioned, Phoebe wanted to be a firefighter for Halloween this year. Her costume turned out to be a cinch. She’d gotten a freebie fire hat at a recent daycare field trip to the firestation, and then our daycare provider had some other firefighter costume gear to lend us. A totally free costume.

Seeing as he doesn’t yet have a say in the matter, I figured I would dress Theo to go along with Phoebe’s firefighter. (As you may have noticed, I’m all about going with themes.) At first, I thought, “Theo can be a fire!” As I thought about the costume, however, I realized that there was a good chance that he would end up looking like a baby on fire. Um…perhaps a tad more disturbing than I had in mind.

So, the plan was to go with a dalmatian (the traditional firehouse dog).

For the pre-Halloween party on Tuesday, I hadn’t managed to get a dalmatian costume together. Theo went as a (very cute, and still black and white spotted) cow, instead. On Wednesday, I stopped by a used children’s store (where they sell used things for children, not actual used children). I had plans to get some white clothes, a white hoodie if possible, to which I would affix black spots, a tail, and some ears.

As it happened, the store had a rack of Halloween costumes. Which were additionally marked down. And there was a dalmatian costume. In Theo’s size. For $4.00. Suddenly, the whole home-made costume idea seemed like it would be a big ordeal.

Apparently, though, I still had a hankering for assembling a Halloween costume, because I decided to put together a costume for myself. I would be the fire to go along with the theme. I wore a red shirt layered over an orange shirt, along with an orange and red swirly-patterned shawl that I happened to have picked up for 1 euro at a Sevilla flea market. I fashioned a hat out of fleece left over from Theo’s carrot costume from last year, and attached flames of red and orange tissue paper to it with staples. (I was in a hurry. I made the hat this afternoon while Theo napped.)

I was quite pleased with the end result, especially considering that I bought nothing new to make my costume.

Of course, wearing this hat around our neighborhood reminded me of something: the fact that I have no dignity.

John, on the other hand, has some. He totally ignored my suggestion of a costume for him. Because you know what would have gone really well with both the firefighter and the dog costumes? A fire hydrant.

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celebrating 5+ years of marriage in Massachusetts

ring_exchangeFive years ago today, John and I stood before a room full of our friends and family to express our commitment to each other, exchange rings, and celebrate our love.

We didn’t get married that day, though. This was a day of ceremony and festivities to supplement our rather unceremonious entry into the state of legal marriage almost 5 years earlier.

The reasons for our 1999 wedding-that-wasn’t-quite-a-wedding are a story for another day, and one that I have briefly told before.

While we had planned to have the wedding ceremony soon after the legal marriage, it wasn’t until 2004 that the pieces finally fell together. Meanwhile, in May of 2004, Massachusetts became the first state to legally recognize same-sex marriage. We were very pleased with this news, and I feel real pride in my adoptive state about this issue.

John and I are not exactly religious. (This may actually be an understatement.) As such, we don’t belong to any church or other religious organization. However, as religion is an important part of the lives of many people who are important in our lives, I wanted to have our wedding be at least spiritual, if not overly religious.

When it came time to pick an officiant for our own wedding ceremony, I also wanted to find a person who supported marriage equality.

I remember driving past Unitarian Universalist churches displaying rainbow flags and messages supporting same-sex partners. Living in rural Massachusetts, in an area where churches and even some homes will sometimes display sayings of hellfire and damnation, it made me smile to see the progressive messages so boldly and proudly displayed.

Not only did the UU church support marriage equality, but members of the Unitarian Universalist church fought actively to bring about the legal recognition of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.

Choosing a minister from a Unitarian Universalist congregation seemed a clear choice, and it was one that I was very happy with.

Our wedding ceremony added something to our relationship. To have a joyous celebration that we shared with our friends and family, a public acknowledgement of our commitment, was a rite that I appreciated in ways that are hard for me to pinpoint. Our legal marriage, on the other hand, added things to our relationship that are easy to identify. The possibility of being able to share a health insurance policy, for a start. Plus many other rights and benefits:

There are over 1,400 rights that come from being legally married in the eyes of the government. (source)

I am happy to be married, both for the symbolic union with the partner that I love, and for the benefits that this union affords us.

I am also happy to live in a place where couples are not denied the right to marriage based on their gender.

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tired

Remember how I said I hoped to get some recaps and photos from my trip posted soon, and get back to visiting blogs? Well, as it turns out, I underestimated how entirely tired I would be.

In addition to seriously underestimating the impact of jetlag, I’d also underestimated how stressed I would feel coming back to the pressure of home and work responsibilities. Not that our trip was relaxing, mind you. In fact, we were too busy for me to even think about all the work I wasn’t doing on the trip, and all the other random crap we hadn’t gotten done before our departure. It was a kind of decompression to be away from it all, and taxed with merely the day-by-day, and sometimes hour-by-hour, stress of making our way around on very tired feet and getting ourselves fed all the while wrangling two very tired little kiddos.

And now we’re back to the pressures of our regular chaotic home and life, among which are dealing with various home and car issues. Such as a car tire with a slow leak that had been getting progressively worse. For the weeks leading up to the trip, we’d had to pump up the tire 2 or 3 times a day. It would get totally flat within maybe 8 hours. With the hecticness of work before the trip, we just couldn’t fit the time and even brief carlessness into our schedules. So upon returning, the rear tire was still leaking and lurking, rearing its ugly total flatness almost every time I needed to dash out the door to get the kids to daycare, or rush back from work to pick them up. (Mind you, we did really get some good use out of our portable air compressor tire pump.)

I’m happy to say that our car now has new tires. 4 new tires, as it turns out. The tires hold their pressure beautifully, which greatly relieves one pressure in my daily schedule. And we had a lovely Saturday evening out together as a family at a mall eating mediocre food and buying fuzzy pajamas while the car got tired. (Phoebe was very happy that she got to meet some mechanics. She is a big fan of mechanics. She even will tell you as much, given the chance.)

Since I didn’t get any photos of the tire in its flatness, I thought perhaps I could instead share photos of tiredness from our trip.

Phoebe at dinner on our first night in Barcelona, after 16+ hours of travel followed by refusal to nap.
Phoebe at dinner on our first night in Barcelona, after 16+ hours of travel followed by refusal to nap.

Phoebe often got tired from all the walking, and so would hitch a ride on John's shoulders. This is by the river in Sevilla.
Phoebe often got tired from all the walking, and so would hitch a ride on John's shoulders. This is by the river in Sevilla.

She asked to be carried *a lot*.
She asked to be carried *a lot*.

Theo, on the other hand, got to ride in the stroller most of the time. Here he is, admiring the streets of Sevilla.
Theo, on the other hand, got to ride in the stroller most of the time. Here he is, admiring the streets of Sevilla.

Here he is at a street cafe in Barcelona.
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Here he is at the top of Montjuïc in Barcelona.
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His cheeks got to know the buckles of the stroller well.
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And on many occasion, Theo just got tired of being stuck in the stroller.

Theo tiring of the gardens of Alcazar in Sevilla.
Theo tiring of the gardens of Alcazar in Sevilla.

Okay, it’s getting on towards midnight now, and I have a long day of commuting and work ahead. Yes, this post is odd and rambly. But what can I say? I’m tired.

re-entry

Phoebe peers through a gate at Alcazar in Sevilla.
Phoebe peers through a gate at Alcazar in Sevilla.

Hello? Is this thing on?

I’m back from Spain! We flew in late Monday afternoon, got back home by 6:30 p.m. Which doesn’t sound too late, except that we felt like it was after midnight due to the 6 hour time difference. Not to mention (well, yes, I guess I do mention) that it was 17 hours door to door. With a baby. And a three-year-old. Following a late night of packing. Then yesterday I drove my mother back to the airport and returned the rental car (I’ll explain later), then took the train back with Theo. In all, another 6 or so hours of travel. With a baby. So it still felt like a travel day.

And here I am today, totally wiped out, but still trying to get back into things. Trying to catch up with work stuff that I’ve missed, sort out house stuff that was left undone, get my thoughts organized, and make a stab at getting my photos together. I have literally (and I do mean literally) about 2000 photos from the trip on my computer. I have so much I want to (and plan to) share about the trip. For now, the micro summary: the trip was wonderful!

If you are hungry for more details, I hope to serve them up soon. Meanwhile, I’m happy to be able to tantalize you with some appetizers from azahar, who put up a couple of posts featuring our visit to Sevilla: girls night out and mmmm…. (However, I must warn you that if you are actually hungry, you might want to get a bite to eat before paying a visit to casa az; the food photos are likely to torment you otherwise.)

As for reading blogs, I’m a little afraid to look at my feed reader. I’m sure it is full to overflowing. I know that many advocate the “mark all as read option,” but I always worry that I will miss something major. (Have I missed something major?) I hope to have a bit of time to get back online tonight, but for now I think I need to take a nap. I intend to start Theo’s sleep training in earnest tonight, and all intentions will be overridden if I fall asleep again while putting him to bed.

getting carried away

Last Saturday, we went to a music festival, and met up with a couple friends. It was a great festival, and I really enjoyed the time with my friends, wandering around taking pictures, listening to music, and just generally being at a festive event.

There was one brief event, though, that leaves me feeling unsettled, even a week later.

We were sitting around in a little park where one of the festival’s many stages was set up. The last set for that location had finished, and lots of people were just sitting around enjoying the late afternoon sun. Our group had more-or-less camped out at the foot of a statue, the large stone base of which provided some much appreciated shade and a cool place to lean against.

After having been strapped in to a carseat and then a stroller all day, Theo was happy to be crawling around the grass in the park. He’d take off in one direction or another, and one of our group would follow along for a bit, then scoop him up and bring him back to our base. Theo got a lot of friendly smiles, and we’d get the occasional casual question about Theo’s age and whatnot. So I didn’t think much of it when a smiling man walked towards Theo as he was gleefully crawling away from me. I scooped Theo up, held him up high, smooched him on the cheek, and smiled at the stranger who was admiring my baby. The man stepped closer and asked about Theo’s age, and we started the usual chitchat. Then he reached for Theo and lifted him out of my arms, exclaiming over how friendly he was. I was completely taken aback by this. Then he started joking that he would take Theo home. Even though he was joking, I wanted to scream “give me back my baby!” I reached for Theo, and the man, still seeming to joke, made as if to walk away with him. I kept my hands on Theo and said, “I need to take him back. I was just going to change his diaper.” The man got a sort of blank, sort of startled, look on his face. “Really?” he said. He loosened his grip, and allowed me to reclaim my baby. I walked quickly back to our little group, and the man walked off another direction, disappearing fairly quickly into the thinning crowds.

I found myself quite shaken. It all happened so fast that John and my friends, who were sitting with Phoebe, didn’t even see the exchange. While the man seemed to be joking, it wasn’t clear to me how far he might have carried his “joke.” Would he have really walked away with Theo? Clearly, there must have been something somewhat off with this man’s mind, as most people know that it’s not okay to pick up a stranger’s baby without permission. He didn’t seem drunk, though he may have been. He may have been mentally ill. Neither of these possibilities is particularly reassuring to me.

In retrospect, I’m really glad I mentioned the diaper. I think it cut short the exchange, which already had gone on too long for my comfort. Perhaps it reminded the man that babies are not just smiley, cherubic playthings, but that they involve work and messiness.

I’m not one to spend a lot of time worrying about protecting my children from predators. I tend to focus on worrying about keeping them safe from cars and household accidents, worrying about how much they eat and sleep. But this incident, minor as it was, reminds me that there are people out there who will take advantage of that moment when you let your attention drift.

summer skies

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We had a wedding to go to up in New Hampshire this weekend, and Phoebe got to be a flower girl. It was a fun trip, if largely hectic with various functions and family commitments. I’d write more about the weekend, but I’ve got some work to catch up on. I actually didn’t even bring my laptop on the trip with us, knowing how tight our schedule (and cargo space) would be.

On Sunday, one of John’s cousins invited us up to spend a bit of time with her family at a beach in Maine. So we headed up there after checking out of the hotel, and attending the last of the wedding-related gatherings.

The setting was gorgeous, and the weather was perfect.

This “summer” has been one of the coldest, rainiest ones I can remember, so it was a real treat to have warm sunshine this weekend. Now we’re back to chilly rain and thunder, the afternoon sky so dark outside the window that it makes me feel like climbing into bed. As I sit here hunched over my laptop trying to do work, I find it hard to tear myself away from the photos that tell a different story about these days of summer.

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p.s. I forgot to mention that it’s time for the Just Posts once more. If you have read or written posts on topics of social justice, send ’em in!

gathering moss

The first time I ever moved was when I was three years old. My family lived in a rental house in Sausalito, California. It was a tiny house built into the hillside overlooking the San Francisco Bay, with 30-odd steps leading up to the house from the sidewalk. One of my earliest memories was of moving day. The movers put down big pieces of plywood over those steps so that they could slide the boxes down to the street level.

That move sent me and my things in two directions, as my parents were separating. My mother rented an apartment a few towns away, and my father rented a house in a neighboring town. My sister and I would go back and forth. A couple of years later, my mother left the apartment for a rental house in another town, and my father rented the same apartment vacated by my mother.

When I was six, my mother, my sister and I moved our things in with my new stepfather, into a big newly built house. My father died that same year, and my mother and stepfather cleared out the apartment that had been one of my two homes for three years. I remember trying to save all I could get away with.

When I was nine years old, my mother, my sister and I moved to France to start anew. We packed up what we could fit in a few suitcases and a big trunk, and headed to Paris. We travelled a bit, stayed in hotels here and there, and finally settled in an apartment in a Paris suburb, near the school my sister and I would attend.

We stayed there a year before returning to the US. We moved in with my Grandmother in her house in a small, rural town in the mountains of Colorado. The following year, we moved to another Colorado town, where we rented a log cabin-style house.

We stayed there for just over 3 years, which up to that point was the longest time I’d spent in any one residence. Part way into my freshman year of high school, we moved to Honolulu, Hawaii. We got rid of lots of things, put some into storage, and moved over with little more than a few suitcases. A few months later, it was back to the mainland, where we settled once more in California. A couple of years later, my mother married a Frenchman and moved back to France. It was the spring of my junior year of high school, and I moved in with a friend’s family for a couple of months to finish the school year. That summer, I moved to France with a few suitcases, though I recall I had my mother’s full sterling flatware set in my carry-on bag.

The next year, I headed back to the US for college. Over the 4-ish years of college, I lived in 2 dorms and 4 apartments. I also had a semester studying abroad in Brazil. If I’d had a car at that point, I could easily have fit all my belongings into it.

In addition to the homes I lived for stretches of months or years, there were more temporary places. Hotels or friends’ homes for a few days here, a few weeks there, filling in the gaps between moves.

How can I count the places I’ve lived? 5 US states and 2 other countries? (Do I count differently the times I moved back to a place after moving away? That happened twice. Unless you count coming back from Brazil, then it was 3 times.) Was it 15 towns, or do I count those other transitional towns? (There were at least 2.) Was it 9 schools during K through 12, or do I not count changes in the same district? (That happened once.) There have been 8 different houses and at least 11 different apartments. (And that one apartment where I lived twice.) Or do I just count the number of times I packed up all my belongings? (Because I doubt I can figure that one out.)

When I was 24, John and I moved up to Massachusetts. When we moved out of that apartment, four years later, it was the longest time I had ever been in one place. Amazingly, that was 10 years ago, as of last month. In May of 1999, we bought our house. That was the last time I moved.

I’ve been in Massachusetts for 14 years now, in New England for nearly 20 years. I never imagined myself staying in one place for so long. (And I never imagined how much stuff I could accumulate.)