Okay, so I’m cranky tonight. It was a long day. Generally it should have been a good day. We went blueberry picking in the morning, and then went out for pizza and ice cream in the morning.
But this potty training business? It’s a royal pain. And frustrating as all hell. That chart I showed off recently? We’re still working on filling it with stickers. There is one spot left. One freakin’ little spot.
It was recommended to me by a developmental specialist¹ that we give some sort of additional reward after getting a certain number of stickers for successful potty training. For more motivation.² So I thought, sure, let’s do that. So I said we could go and buy a new toy once Phoebe had filled in the whole chart. As of last night, there were 3 slots left. I was sure, sure, we’d manage to accomplish the goal by the end of today. Here it is Saturday. We were going to be at or near home all day. Then we could swing by some place in the afternoon to get a toy. By naptime, we had added two more stickers. I was already planning out our excursion. We’d go for a toy, and pick up some dinner at Wholefoods.
But it was not to be. Phoebe kept her big girl underwear clean and dry, holding out for the time when we would next put on a diaper. Which we finally did when we decided to go out for pizza and ice cream after 7:00, when it was clear that we weren’t going to get to go toy shopping.
It’s rough, because Phoebe was at daycare all week, which led to a bit of a setback. I had her go 4 days instead of the usual 3, so that I could make some progress with my own research project. But the daycare provider doesn’t have time to sit with her in the bathroom, or follow her around watching for “signs”. And the trick we’ve used at home of having Phoebe wear underwear also isn’t fair for daycare, as it does involve a certain amount of extra cleanup. And vigilance.
And lest that stunning sticker chart makes it look easy to motivate with stickers, let me explain that each and every one of those stickers involved an investment of time and energy. There was a lot of coaxing and cajoling. Sitting and holding hands. Sitting and comforting. Running to the bathroom for false alarms. Sitting and singing. Cleaning up. Changing underwear and clothing. Not to mention lots and lots of forced cheerfulness when I’ve wanted to just say “screw it,” and let her wear diapers as long as she wants. Even if that means till she’s 12.
I do have to remind myself that we’ve made some great progress. As much work as it’s been, it does seem to be working. Phoebe has used the potty successfully every day for the past 8 days, whereas previously we’d had weeks at a time without output.
And then having this face to look at helps a lot:
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¹ I saw her during Phoebe’s recent assessment for early intervention services. I’ll hopefully write about that soon. The short story (so as not to leave you hanging) is she has been receiving services, but no longer qualifies.
² Also known as bribery.
collecting tokens 
She totally does have blueberry eyes
She’s BEAUTIFUL. KayTar has given up on the potty entirely. We had a week that looked very promising, but then she decided, nope, it was actually NOT what she wanted from life. Sigh.
Oh, she is beautiful!!
I have no potty training advice, except for perseverance. And even that I give just because it makes sense…I have no experience whatsoever.
Thinking of you..
p.s. I have been such a good girl, I haven’t had one bite of the Brazilian goodies. I knew the Sergeant would be home soon and he’d love to try them…and if I actually opened any of the packages nothing would be left. But…he’s home now!!…so perhaps tonight. Yum yum!
I think potty training the V-meister has been the hardest parental thing I’ve done thus far. I honestly didn’t think it would ever, ever happen, and then one day it did. But not before I had gone stark raving mad. Ironically, the potty chart is what finally worked for us. We five columns with five rows each. After every five stickers, she’d get a prize (trip to the ice cream shop, new toy, etc.) We never got to the fifth row in the chart, so I think the prize for every five stickers worked really well.
Good luck and take heart! IT WILL HAPPEN, and before you know it, you’ll have forgotten how hard this time was.
“blueberry eyes” … I love that! And yes, she does.
potty training is tough. thank for giving me a preview of what we’ll be in for…
I thought much the same as you, that it was too much to ask of daycare to follow Fizzy around checking up on her. They do regular nappy changes there, so what I asked instead was if she was dry when they went to change her, could they give her a chance to sit on the potty? Within two days, they told me not to send her in nappies any more – they had it all sorted. They were as much invested in her success as I was, so they were only too happy to help. Good luck!
Those really are blueberry eyes! In an adorable face…
Ohmygod, you have the cutest kid in the world. I’m sorry to hear you were feeling cranky when you wrote this, but it sounds like it was well-earned.
Hang in there. I hear it gets better.
i love her blueberry eyes.
i would think the daycare would be interested in trying to help. i swear our daycare potty-trained my kid.
she absolutely has blueberry eyes.
two perfect blueberries
I’m learning so much from you. Note to self: potty training sucks…
Oh, Phoebe does have blueberry eyes! She’s so cute … and so much more grown than the first pic I saw of her months ago!
flutter-
Pretty striking among the blueberries, huh?
Kyla-
Oh dear. How frustrating. But she’s making such amazing progress with other areas, potty shmotty, I say.
dragonfly-
Eaten your chocolate yet?
And yeah, perserverance does seem to be the key. (At least up to the point where it becomes a battle of wills, which I’ve heard can happen.) But we’ve had progress…
rima-
Thanks for that. It’s good to know there are others that have nearly been broken by the process. And glad to know that somehow you were victorious. (And lived.)
az-
Thanks!
maja-
Individual results may vary. I’ve heard fairy tales of easy training…
Stella-
I’m afraid our daycare situation isn’t quite the same. The individual who takes care of Phoebe hasn’t really encouraged a push to potty train. Of course, she’s only one adult to 2 1-year-olds as well as Phoebe. There is also a 3 and a half year old who only just recently stopped wearing diapers. But we’ll see. In a week or so I may ask about having Phoebe wear underwear, and send lots of extra clothing just in case.
heather-
thanks!
riddlebiddle-
Thanks for the encouragement. (And for thinking Phoebe’s so cute.)
magpie-
I’m a bit jealous that your daycare was so involved. Our person seems less engaged in the task, though she is wonderful about so many other things.
jen, mad-
Not for eating, though.
jeanerz-
It sure does. A valuable lesson. Though perhaps not applicable to most aspects of your life.
girlgriot-
It’s pretty amazing how quickly they grow at this point.