Month: December 2006

Pants!

Today marks a momentous occassion. I am wearing pants! Okay, I’ve worn pants in the past. Actually, that is what is momentous. I am wearing pants from my past. (PPP: Pre-pregnancy pants.) (And by the way, I’m referring to pants in the US vs. the UK sense.)

I like the word pants. I actually like saying the word pants. It’s one of those words that begs to be repeated. Pants. For example, in a discourse on pants, I would hypothesize that speakers would be less inclined to use pronouns to refer to pants than, say, other entities in the discourse. Even if the word pants had just been mentioned, I would still say “pants.” Consider the following pair of examples:

Speaker A: Have you seen my glasses? I need them.
Speaker B: I see that you are not wearing them. When did you last see them?

vs.

Speaker A: Have you seen my pants? I need my pants.
Speaker B: I see that you are not wearing pants. When did you last see your pants?

I consider the word pants to be an inherently funny word, and I know I’m not alone here. (A friend of mine considers pants to be the funniest word of the English language.) And I’m remembering a sketch from a short-lived show called The Vacant Lot called “Pants! The Musical.”

There is apparently a tradition (according to Wikipedia) of substituting the word pants for other words in lines from Star Wars. Here are some of my favorites listed on the cited website:

3. We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
12. Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.

It’s like MadLibs, but all pants!

When discussing pants, it’s also important to pronounce pants properly. I produce pants with very strong aspiration on the [p]. There seems to be a bit of difference in the vowel, too. I’ll plan to make some recordings so that I can do a bit of pants analysis.

Of course, pants is not the only inherently funny word. (I hope to collect some of them.) My favorite is actually squid. I try to use the word squid whenever possible. (And actually in some cases where it is not possible.)

Enough of this for now. I must get on with my pants. My squid is calling.

9 of my favorite kick-ass women movies

As I recently mentioned, I’m planning to catalog (review, rate, rank and otherwise write about) movies and TV shows that prominently feature kick-ass women. Since I love lists, I thought I’d start the process by giving some lists. Here’s a list of some of the lists I’m planning on writing:

  1. A to do list. (Always gotta have one of those. (And by the way, it’s not uncommon for me to have “write to do list” at the top of my to do list.) However, I will spare you that list at this point. Because that is not the point of this list.)
  2. A list of some of my favorite movies with kick-ass women.
  3. A similar list with some more of my favorites of the type mentioned in item 2. (I think I may have mentioned my trouble with commitment. I fear that if I have a single list of my all-time favorites I will be continually editing the list, and never get a list finished. So the lists will be smaller, and non-exhaustive.)
  4. A list of some favorite kick-ass women TV shows
  5. Some lists of other movies and TV shows that feature kick-ass women, but aren’t necessarily my favorites

The plan is to work my way through the lists and start rating these movies. Probably fairly gradually. Anyhow, below is the first list on the topic of kick-ass women. The following movies are listed in order of appearance (i.e. chronologically) and are not intended to reflect a ranking of my favorites. It’s hard for me to rank my favorites. Some movies are better than others overall, some of the women are more kick-ass, and some of the movies are just more fun. But here’s the list:

9 of Alejna’s favorite kick-ass women movies

  1. Supercop (1992)
    Michelle Yeoh steals the show from Jackie Chan.
  2. The Professional (1994)
    More of a kick-ass girl movie. At 12, Natalie Portman shows that you don’t have to be old enough to drive to kick some ass.
  3. Strange Days (1995)
    Angela Bassett saves the day (and Ralph Fienne’s undeserving ass).
  4. Tank Girl (1995)
    Lori Petty shows some serious attitude in a seriously fun movie.
  5. Fargo (1996)
    Frances McDormand is more about brains than brawn as a pregnant sheriff in this Cohen brothers masterpiece.
  6. The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
    Another fun movie, with lots of action. Geena Davis plays an amnesiac spy/assassin. (Sound familiar, Matt Damon?)
  7. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
    Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi (and more, even!) in a truly beautiful martial arts movie.
  8. Kill Bill, volume 1 (2003)
    For her role in this movie, I’m almost able to forgive Uma Thurman for her betrayal portrayal of Emma Peel in 1998.
  9. Serenity (2005)
    Gina Torres and Summer Glau kick ass in space. (Also in the show, but I’m not talking about TV right now.)

Mrs. Peel, you’re needed.

I stumbled across the Avengers when I was 15 years old. Watching late-night TV when I probably should’ve been doing homework. I liked the show, a British spy series made in the 60s (in case you don’t know it), for a number of reasons. The episodes were entertaining mysteries with bizarre, often surreal, premises and colorful, quirky villains and guest characters. It was all carried out in that tongue-in-cheek way that the British do best. The show (in its 1965-1967 incarnation) had two lead characters: John Steed (top professional) and Emma Peel (talented amateur). John Steed was dashing and dapper in his well-tailored suits and trademark bowler, and he certainly had his charm and appeal. But the reason I loved the show was Emma Peel. Emma Peel became my idol.

Emma Peel, as portrayed by Diana Rigg, was a groundbreaking character. She was well ahead of her time. Contemporaneous TV shows on this side of the Atlantic featured women with supernatural abilities who squelched their phenomenal powers to keep house and keep a man. Meanwhile, The Avengers had Emma Peel, a woman (with merely human powers) who used her abilities to defeat diabolical villains– in her spare time. She was a physicist and a mathematician and had run a large company in her early twenties. She possessed strength, intelligence, a keen wit, and a wide range of skills and talents. Emma Peel was a master martial artist, a skillful fencer, sharpshooter and could drive like a racecar driver. She could paint, sculpt and dance, not to mention speak many languages. She had an attitude of fabulous self-confidence without arrogance. To top it all off, she had incredible style and grace.

I wanted to be Emma Peel. In some ways, I still do. It’s funny to think that a TV show may have shaped who I’ve become, or at least who I’ve wanted to be. There is no doubt in my mind that my interest in martial arts stems from my idolization of Emma. Perhaps some of my desire to be a “Renaissance woman” also comes from my desire to emulate Emma.

Another of the ways in which The Avengers has inspired me is that I continue to look for strong women characters, whether fictional or real-life, who instill in me awe, admiration and pride in being a woman. While I realize it is somewhat shallow, I most enjoy seeking out these women in popular entertainment. Particularly TV and movies. On the other hand, while it may seem shallow, TV and movies have an incredible power to reach a wide audience, and the potential to inspire more women and young girls.

For years I’ve been wanting to put together a website or some such to review and rate movies and TV shows that prominently feature kick-ass women. Here’s where I’m digging in to that task. Stay tuned…