Category: silliness

the Ikea Rat Launcher

40588_pe134275_s4.jpgFrom time to time, I have been known to do a product review. (Some of you may remember my review of the iPhone, and the followup discussion of the Apple iCup.) I’ve been wanting to share this product for a while, but thought it would be good to wait for the Year of the the Rat celebrations to kick in. So, here it is: a review and demo of the Ikea Rat Launcher.
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The Ikea Rat Launcher

This colorful and inexpensive device can launch an Ikea stuffed rat several feet up into the air, way up over a toddler’s head, resulting in a flying rat and a giggling toddler. (Individual results may vary.) Below are some images from our extensive testing of this product in late October of last year.

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For the full demonstration, you can watch this video.¹

This ingenious product also doubles as a storage device: rats can be collected and placed in the launcher for later launching. An attractive reptilian cover keeps the rats from escaping.
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Warning: this product is not recommended for toddler storage.

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While the Launcher appears large enough to accomodate a toddler, attempts at toddler storage may result in the following:²

———————
¹ Sorry it’s a bit long, at 2:42, but I was too amused by Phoebe’s belly laughter and backwards toddling to cut any of it out.

² This one’s only 15 seconds. You know you want to watch it.

rats!

Happy New Year, and welcome to the Year of the Rat! In celebration of this holiday, how could I not offer up to you a platter of rats? No, not to eat, silly. That would be gross. This is a generous helping of rat-themed¹ things for a festive ThThTh list.²

  • Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, by Robert C. O’Brien. The Newbery Award winning children’s novel about a mother mouse and a colony of highly intelligent rats.
  • Templeton, the rat from E. B. White’s beloved book, Charlotte’s Web. Was voiced by Steve Buscemi in the 2006 movie based on the book.
  • I don’t give a rat’s ass. An idiom meaning “I don’t care,” akin to “I don’t give a flying fig.” One of those expressions that is always used with the negative. For example, one would not likely hear “I give a rat’s ass.” Or maybe one should. I could design a line of greeting cards, perhaps for Valentine’s Day: “I give a rat’s ass about you.”
  • ratty: An adjective to mean dirty, messy and/or worn out. Also a nickname for a cafeteria at my undergrad University. The Sharpe Refectory was long ago nicknamed the Sharpe Rat Factory, later shortened to The Ratty. The nickname was used so frequently that it was easy to forget that it wasn’t the cafeteria’s official name.
  • Ratatouille (2007) Pixar’s latest animated movie is about a young rat who loves to cook.

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  • Willard (1971), and its sequel, Ben (1972). There was also a 2003 remake of Willard, starring the appropriately creepy Crispin Glover. These were movies about the friendship between a man (or boy) and some rats. (Oh, and the rats are vicious killers. Note that you can find these movies on imdb via the plot keywords “eaten alive by rats.”)
  • “You dirty rat!” a phrase popularly attributed to James Cagney, though apparently a misquote:

    It should be noted, however, that he never actually said, “You dirty rat!”, a popular phrase associated with him….The phrase actually originated in the 1932 film Taxi!, in which Cagney said, “Come out and take it, you dirty, yellow-bellied rat, or I’ll give it to you through the door!” often misquoted as “Come out, you dirty rat, or I’ll give it to you through the door!”

  • Rodents of Unusual Size (ROUS): Oversized rats (well, it’s not specified that they’re rats, but they look pretty rat-like in the movie) from the Princess Bride.

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  • The Pied Piper of Hamelin. A legend, sometimes written as a fairy tale, about a man who freed a town of its rat infestation by playing his pipe to lure the rats to drown themselves in the river. When the town refused to pay the agreed upon fees, the Piper then lured away the town’s children.
  • The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett. A Discworld book for young adults about some rats (and a cat) who work a Pied Piper scam.
  • I Was a Rat, a children’s book by Philip Pullman (of The Golden Compass fame). About a boy who was once a rat. A bit of a fairy tale retelling from an unusual perspective.
  • “Adventures of the Rat Family,” a fairy tale by Jules Verne
  • Amy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A character who turned herself into a rat to escape being burned as a witch, but didn’t manage to turn herself back into a human afterwards. Was then kept in a cage as pet by Willow for several years. When she eventually returns to human state, says “I felt like I was in that cage for weeks.”
  • “I think I smell a rat,” a song by the White Stripes. For Amy (see above item) clips set to the song check out this YouTube video.)
  • A few more rat-related items include: mazes, the rat race, The Rat Pack, and pack rats. There was also the rat who ate the malt in “This is the house that Jack built”

    This is the rat,
    That ate the malt
    That lay in the house that Jack built.

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¹ YTSL mentions, though, that this can also be considered to be year of the mouse. All the more reason to get around to a mouse list some time soon.

² Last year, I gave a list of pigs for Year of the Pig.

no damn cat, no damn hat

So I sat on my ass
All this cold dreary day
And I said “How I wish
I had more time to play.”

No time to write posts
That are well thought-out rants,
No time to write lists
about movies with pants.

So I all I can do is to
Bitch,
        whine
                and moan
And each time the phone rings
Shout “leave me alone!”

No damn cat came in wanting
To show me his “things”
But the living room’s trashed
And the bathtub’s got rings

Glued to the keyboard
With deadlines a-loomy
The house is a mess
And my mood is all gloomy.

I should do my work now
While the clocks say it’s lating
But this is a fun way
Of procrastinating.

——
I couldn’t resist this week’s Monday Mission, which asked for a post in the style of a children’s book or poem.

I’m dreaming of a pants Christmas

Yesterday, I was most pleased to be able to share with you all a bit of holiday cheer in the form of a Christmas pants song. Which leads me to think there could be far more holiday pants songs. On top of that, this week’s Monday Mission asks for posts in the form of Christmas lists. And I thought to myself, “I should make a list.” So, here I offer you a very Merry Christmas Pants Playlist. Pull up your festive pants and enjoy!
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Pants Holiday Playlist

  1. Deck the Pants
  2. Pants We Have Heard On High
  3. God Pants Ye Merry, Gentlemen
  4. Hark the Herald Angels’ Pants
  5. O Little Pants of Bethlehem
  6. I Heard The Pants On Christmas Day
  7. Jingle Pants
  8. The Little Drummer Pants
  9. O Pants, All Ye Faithful
  10. Silent Pants
  11. O Holy Pants
  12. The Twelve Pants Of Christmas
  13. Pants to the World
  14. Pants Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
  15. Ding Dong Merrily on Pants

the magic of Santa’s pants

‘Tis the season to be jolly. To deck the halls, hang the mistletoe, and face angry mobs at the mall while trying to find the right gift for Aunt Margaret that she’ll probably return or regift anyhow. But in all the hustle and the bustle of holiday preparations, let’s not forget about the important things. Like family. And friends. And pants.

I offer to you the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theater‘s memorable song, Santa’s Pants.

Thanks to raincoaster for spreading the love of pants, and the love of socks.

fresh from the oven

To cheer you up on this holiday season evening, allow me to offer you a platter of freshly baked cookies. Actually, I don’t have any cookies, but I can offer you this Themed Things list of cookie-related goodness.

Some Cookies for You

  • That’s the way the cookie crumbles: an expression suggesting the resigned acceptance that an undesired event or outcome can’t be changed.
  • “Faraway Cookies:” Sandra Boynton’s touching love song about a yearning for cookies. (Off Philadelphia Chickens):

    Oh, Chocolate Chip Cookies
    so high on the shelf
    hiding inside of the jar
    I’m not tall enough
    to reach you myself.
    So near, and yet so very far

  • Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? A song usually sung with young kids. Usually without any actual cookies or theft thereof.
  • Cookie Monster: a blue Muppet from Sesame Street who likes to eat cookies. And other things. Also known for his battle cry of “cookies!!!!” (He also sings, which you can hear on YouTube.)

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  • The Gingerbread Man¹:
    An folktale about a human-shaped cookie who comes to life and runs off, taunting those who chase him:

    Run, run, as fast as you can!
    You can’t catch me!
    I’m the Gingerbread Man!

  • Cookies for Santa: A tradition of leaving a glass of milk and a plate of cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve.
  • A quiz to let you know what kind of cookie you are, stolen out of Raincoaster’s cookie jar. It would seem that I am a fortune cookie.
  • I like to imagine improbable fortune cookie fortunes, but in case I can’t think up any of my own, there are fortune cookie generators available. This one is also one I lifted from the Raincoaster cookie jar. (She’s going to have to find a safer place to hide her cookies.³) This is the fortune I got:
    My Fortune Cookie told me:
    You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard this message.
    Get a cookie from Miss Fortune
  • In Amy Tan’s book The Joy Luck Club, one of the characters works in a fortune cookie factory and tries to nudge a suitor to propose by carefully planting fortunes in his cookies.
  • Girl Scout Cookies. Traditionally sold by Girl Scouts. (In fact, during my brief tenure as a Girl Scout at the tender age of 10, the only Girl Scout activity available to me was selling Girl Scout cookies.) I am also reminded of this scene from The Addams Family movie (1991):

    Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
    Wednesday: Yes.
    Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
    Pugsley: Yes.
    Girl Scout: I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
    Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

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    ¹ If you want to see some very attractive gingerbread men, Mad just posted some photos that make me want to get baking. Or at least make me want to visit someone who does some baking.²

    ² As further proof that this is the season for cookies, BipolarLawyerCook has posted not once, but twice on cookie-related topics. Cookies!!!

    ³ Except maybe for these cookies made from jellyfish. I think they’re pretty much safe wherever.

    I am not an accountant

    Sometimes I forget to tell myself that. I’ve never been an accountant. Nor have I ever planned to be one. (Not that there’s anything wrong with accounting. I can see the appeal of putting things in order.) But this lack of accountancy in my life is usually not at the forefront of my mind.

    Day after day I can go about my non-accounting-related business without once thinking, “hey, I’m not an accountant.”

    But just a few days ago, I became truly aware of this. “I’m not in accounting!” I loudly proclaimed. And I realized how true a statement that was. And I have Blogger to thank for this epiphany.

    You see, Blogger has made some changes to their comment forms. Now, instead of being able to type in my name and the URL for this blog when I leave a comment, I must choose between logging in with my Blogger ID, using a “nickname” (Should I have a nickname? What about Snake?), or being anonymous. So I’ve been using my Blogger ID more often lately. And on a whim, I decided to check out my minimalist Blogger profile. After all, someone might follow the link from a comment I leave here or there. (Well, not here. But there.) And imagine my surprise when I saw that my profile said I was in the field of accounting.

    I quickly went to edit my profile, and select “not specified” for my field, since, shockingly, “linguistics” was not listed on the drop-down menu. When viewing the profile next, I was relieved to see that I was no longer masquerading as a grad student of accounting. But then I thought to myself, “maybe I should say a bit more about myself.” So I added a bit of stuff. And saved my profile. And lo and behold, I was once more in accounting. I went back in, changed the field. Saved the profile. All was well. But, oh crap, there was a typo in my link. Fixed it. Saved. Dammit, there was the frickin’ “accounting” thing again.

    “I am not an accountant!” I cried. I felt I needed to affirm this. It’s been good to have this reminder.

    I have a lot of trouble defining my identity. When asked for a description, I tend to give a list: student, wife, mother, friend, blah, blah, blah. It varies how many items I put on that list. But I have never once in my life listed “accountant” as an identity.

    Of course, I have never listed “not an accountant,” either. And this opens up a whole realm of possible identities. I am also not a butcher, baker, candlestick maker, chiropractor, dancer, mime, mugger, jogger, juggler, or provost. The possibilities are staggering. But for now, at least, I can just remind myself that indeed, I am not an accountant.

    gobble, gobble, gobble

    turkey_6.pngToday is Thanksgiving, a holiday here in the US traditionally (or at least moderately traditionally) celebrated by a day of feasting with family and by expressing thanks. It’s also a day when most Americans eat turkey, a large bird that is native to North America.¹ This has lead to many people calling Thanksgiving “Turkey Day.” So what better Themed Things list to bring you for this Turkey Day than a list of turkeys. (However, these are turkeys you won’t likely see at the dinner table.²)

    Ten Turkey Things for Turkey Day

    1. Turkey in the Straw: an American folk song, often fiddled. (Listen to it, if you like.)
    2. hand turkey: a picture made by tracing one’s hand to make the approximate shape of a turkey. The thumb represents the head and neck, and the fingers the tail feathers. Usually, the drawing is adorned with a beak, an eye, wings and a wattle.
    3. a turkey: a movie that got bad reviews, or that otherwise was poorly received.
    4. a turkey: a bowling term meaning 3 consecutive strikes.
    5. talk turkey. An expression meaning “to speak frankly.” Has some debatable origins.
    6. jive turkey: one who acts as if they know what they are talking about, but really doesn’t.
    7. Wild Turkey. A brand of bourbon. My grandmother liked bourbon. Not sure if she had a preferred brand.
    8. cold turkey. The act of quitting abrubtly, without tapering off. As in “quit drinking cold turkey.” (Which may also involve quitting drinking Wild Turkey.)
    9. Turkey: a nation. (I wonder how often people not native to the US expect that there will be some sort of Turkish cultural event on Turkey day?)
    10. Twas the Night before Thanksgiving, by Dav Pilkey. A somewhat controversial picturebook about some kids who “liberate” some turkeys from a farm and have them over for dinner (but don’t have them for dinner). (I found the full text online listed as an “anonymously” written animal rights poem, but I think Pilkey was the orginal author.)

    —-

    ¹ Some Americans will instead eat a tofurkey, such as a Tofurky, a tofu-based turkey substitute.

    ² Well, except maybe the bourbon, in some households.

    11 11 bits for 11/11

    It’s now 11:00. And today is 11/11. So it seems only fitting that I should bring you some 11-related content.

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    1. 11:11 My favorite time to see on a digital clock. Whenever John or I notice it, we always say “eleven eleven.” (I suppose unless we are in some sort of situation where that might be inappropriate. [Insert inappropriate situation here.] )
    2. I came across this little poem when I was little. (Before I was 11, even.) Each digit should be pronounced by name. (So for any “1” say “one.”)

      11 was a racehorse
      22 was 12
      1111 race 1 day
      22112

    3. 11 is 3 in binary
    4. musical eleventh:

      In music or music theory an eleventh is the note eleven scale degrees from the root of a chord and also the interval between the root and the eleventh.

    5. Apollo 11: landed on the moon in 1969. With people in it.
    6. The movie “Ocean’s Eleven” (1960) and the (2001) remake.
    7. The Armistice ending WWI went into effect on the 11th day of the 11th month. At the 11th hour, no less.
    8. The eleventh hour: the last minute before a deadline. As in “I’m usually scrambling to get my work done up to the eleventh hour.”
    9. The eleven o-clock news: a common time, and label, for late-night TV news.
    10. Elevenses. A light, late-morning snack traditional in the UK. Now seen as a bit old-fashioned. (As if snacking could ever go out of style.)
    11. “These go up to 11.” Nigel Tufnel of Spinal Tap is proud of his amplifiers, whose volume control dials have numbers that go all the way up to 11. Not 10 like other amps. So it must be better. And this list goes up to 11, too, you know. Lists that go up to 11 are better than lists that only go up to 10.